Giving number without him asking for it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Giving number without him asking for it?
8
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 5:23pm
I made a profile on lavalife just to give it a try and the first day, this adorable guy winked at me. I winked back and we exchanged emails with him responding to me within a few hours every time which I thought was good. I wasn't in a rush to meet him so I bided my time. In his 4th email to me, he asked me what kind of food I like and what dishes so I thought that he was going to ask me for my number for sure. I answered and asked him a couple of questions as well but when he wrote back, no mention of getting my number or going out to eat those things I mention so I thought he maybe thought I didn't want to give him my number yet. So I write back with a warm email and toward the end, I state that I don't like to email too much back and forth and like to hear the other person's voice eventually, and that he should call me if he'd like to continue where we left off. So I gave him my number. He hasn't called yet and I'm so hoping he will because I feel like we have so much in common and I like the way he expresses himself. Plus he lives in the same neighborhood as me. Do you think I should have refrained from giving him my number without his asking? I thought, it's the 5th email and he's telling me about his aspirations for the future in an email which is so out of place and it's reached a point where things have to be taken to the phone. A lot of women who play by the rules would say that I should not have done that. What do you think?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 5:26pm

No, I think you did exactly the right thing in offering your number.

Besides, if he's going to freak out on you because you gave him your phone number first, is that really someone you WANT to date?

Did you give him a good time or two to call, also? How long has it been since you sent that email?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 5:33pm
That was yesterday late afternoon but he responds usually within a few hours so I guess I feel anxious that he hasn't. I didn't give him a good time but it's the weekend so I guess he would call me today or tomorrow if he planned to at all. I never have to end up giving out my number because guys usually ask for it or ask to see me early on but I was just surprised he didn't since he seemed to be heading in that direction. I will let you know and will try to be patient!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 5:37pm

Do you know for sure he's not emailing you from work? That may be why he didn't respond.

And no, he wouldn't necessarily call this weekend if he were going to.

I would put it out of your head for the time being and have a good weekend. If he calls, great; if not, oh well!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 8:45pm

I think how you did it was FINE. "By the rules .." there ARE no rules! lol


& i agree, it being a weekend, maybe he just is busy. I too am in the "waiting" mode - dont ya HATE that? lol

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 9:51pm
Yeah, so he called me on a Saturday night of all nights! He said he doesn't have computer access at his apartment and he read his email at his parents' house where he was calling from. I picked up because I thought it was my brother calling from his new number. We spoke for almost an hour. I'm not sure if there was phone chemistry since he seemed a bit serious and I'm more the joking around type but I don't think you can tell enough from a phone call to determine whether there will be chemistry in person. Anyhow, after an hour almost, I said I had to get back to what I was doing (figuring out how to work my DVD player) and he said he's going to a bar tonight. He told me to call him sometime during the week. What? I said, you don't want to do something this week? He said sure. I said okay, how about Wednesday? He said he can't because it's his birthday and Tuesday he has a concert he's going to and Thursday he has a workout class but he could meet me at 9:30 after the class. I said that's a bit late since I get out of work at 5 so let's push it over to the weekend. I just said we'll talk during the week but I didn't say I would call and don't think I will. Or should I? I practically asked him out and he also wants me to call him? I don't know. It doesn't sound too good. Usually when guys say that, it's because they don't have plans to call you and they want to let you down easy. What do you all think I should do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 9:56pm

Oooh - Hmmm ...


Well, i am GLAD he called

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2003
Sat, 04-29-2006 - 10:10pm

Yeah, I hate being the aggressor too but I tend to ask a guy if he wants to do something if he doesn't by the end of the phone call. Sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't. I just don't like spending hours on the phone before meeting and would rather cut to the chase. So yeah, that's a good idea to send an email and I'll do that instead of calling. The thing is he came across as really assertive and confident over the phone so I don't see how his mojo could not rise to the occasion in order to ask me out. Although he seemed to kind of stutter when I told him I had to go so maybe his mojo wasn't rising? I don't know but whatever the case, men never cease to surprise me!

Good luck with your guy and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 6:55am
I had a guy like that not too long ago. we chatted online for a couple of weeks. Then I gave him my number. He called once. After that we chatted only once online. I have never heard from him again. I did ask him out for coffee twice and he turned me down both times. For some reason he was always busy. I am thinking that he had a girdfriend or married or something. So dont worry too much, just move on and if he calls good. He is not worth your time and energy. Good Luck.