Question About Driving to Meet Men

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Question About Driving to Meet Men
14
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 4:30pm

Hi,
I am currently talking to 2 men and would like to meet them both. The problem is that they both want me to drive to where they live. One lives 1 hour from me and the other 1 and a half hours. I have brought up them coming up my way or meeting me half way, but they both don't seem to want to do that. This really annoys me as I feel like they should at least meet me halfway. Any ideas on how to handle this.

Thanks,
Karalyn

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Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 5:32pm

Your annoyance is a red flag that you know that they should be driving to meet you. I'd look at this as a sign of things to come. If they aren't even willing to make the trip to meet, what will happen if you date for any length of time? You deserve better.

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 6:24pm

I want to second the comment that this should be a red flag. Even if there is a good reason (like you live in the boondocks and they are in the city) they should be considerate and want to spare you some driving.

I would say something like this, "I wish that we could meet but if you can't come to my town and I can't go to yours, we're either going to have to agree on a midway point or forget about meeting." Make it clear that you are willing to meet them half-way but stand by your guns about not driving in to meet them. You don't need to make an issue about it. Just sweetly insist that you can't possibly drive to meet them. If they can't meet you half-way, they aren't worth the investment of your time.

Good luck.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 8:40pm

Oh lordy...you need to "next" both of those jerks!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 9:28pm
I agree! Say goodbye to both.
E
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 10:16pm

Red flag.

When I first met the guy I'm sort of seeing, we met halfway. Now, he usually drives to see me, since he's an airline pilot and basically unemployed when he's at home. There is horrible traffic in the direction his house is from my work, so he usually drives to meet me after work. I usually drive to nearer his place when we meet later in the evening. It's give and take, depending on schedules and traffic, which is how it should be. I HAVE dumped men who have wanted me to drive an hour and a half to meet them across town in their city. That's just insane.

Ok, so I get really bad road rage so I try to minimize driving, but still...







iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 11:27am

It's not just insane, but it's creepy too. I mean.. drive to his town, meet at his location of choice where he knows the lay of the land... no way!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 11:32am
If they aren't willing to meet you half-way at least, I would pass on pursuing anything further with them. If you met and hit it off anyway, there would be a distance factor to contend with regardless. If they truly wanted a relationship, they would make more of an effort. Goes back to what I've said earlier about men being "lazy" in the pursuit of a relationship. They claim they want companionship, love and romance, but then when it's knocking at their door, they do little to help things along.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 12:10pm
If they won't meet halfway, they're not that interested. They're just not. There's a very large chance that you will drive all that way, and things won't work out. Or they'll demand you drive to them every time. Meeting halfway is more than fair.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2006
Tue, 05-30-2006 - 11:13pm

Call me old fashioned if you wish, but I think a real man likes to persue the woman. Now, they don't need to find drive all over to find us, buy us drinks or whatever, they can meet us on here. That's a big savings in resources for them all ready.

A man who's really into us, is going to be willing to move whatever mountain necessary, and it's a good test I think, for whether they're seriously interested. I like what someone said about give and take, ...It does matter about the whole situation. But I'll tell you what: In my present relationship, we can't go on this way indefinitely, and I don't get to see him anywhere near as often as I'd like, ...but I sure am impressed my man is willing to do the commuting (12 hours each way! :^)

Yeah, with both of those guys, I'd be hollerin NEXT!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 05-31-2006 - 2:07pm

I agree. My date tonight (first meet) picked a restaurant on my street (grant it, it’s a long street) but you can’t get more convenient then that.

 
 

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