I'm freaking out!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
I'm freaking out!!!
6
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 8:43pm
Hey all!!
I have a myspace account that I use only for networking for my business. I never intended on meeting any guys on myspace. Well, I've met a guy. He seems to be pretty normal. So, we've been emailing each other back and forth for the past several days. Today, he offered me his number. I knew that I wasn't going to call him, so I asked a friend how soon was too soon to give him my number. She said, "just go with your gut." She said that she see's nothing wrong with giving him my CELL phone number because it can't be traced. I did that, and he called me. The conversation went very well. However, the connection was bad, so I called him from my home phone number, thinking that my number was unlisted (I just switched phone services and requested an unlisted number). MY NUMBER'S NOT UNLISTED!!!! The guy was like, "is this your home number??" Now this guy, a total stranger, has my home phone number!! He can probably find out where I live. I don't know what to do. What if he is a psychopath?? I'm a bit scared now. Has this ever happened to anyone out there??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 9:25pm
Yes it happened to me when I was very new to online dating. That's why you always dial *67 before you make a phone call.
hello
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 9:30pm
So, now what do I do??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 10:57am

Honestly, I don't think you need to freak out. Yes, there are some crazy people out there, but a majority of them are not. I think you are making a lot of assumptions thinking he's going to start stalking you just because he knows where you live.

I am a firm believer in trusting your instincts. If there have been no red flags up until this point, I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. Definitely meet in a public place the first time and be safe- but don't go into it being completely paranoid. I met my boyfriend on MySpace- so it's possible for these things to work out :).

Good luck!

Erica

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 11:52am
OK, first, just calm down.
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 12:35pm
First, "unlisted" means not in the phone book, it doesn't prevent someone's caller ID from seeing the number you're calling from; like someone said, you have to dial *67 for that. Second, I think you're seriously overreacting; the guy just asked if it was your home number. I ask men the same question because I don't want a married man who just gives me his office or cell phone, so it's not unrealistic that he'd ask that simple question. It would be different if he'd showed up at your house unannounced; that would be scary. Third, if your home number is, in fact, unlisted and not in the phone book, the guy couldn't do "reverse 411" and find your address linked to the number, because he'd have to search the internet's white pages listings for that (or call reverse 411, which also uses the white pages). So calm down. I'm all for safety first, but you don't want to come off as overly paranoid and anxious -- that's just as unattractive as a man who acts like he's hiding something, in my opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2004
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 8:02pm
I agree with Raquel. Just learn from it and be extra cautious next time. Not only did I make the mistake of letting this guy have my home number (and yes he was kind of strange), but one time after feeling comfortable IMing & emailing this other guy from home - I started to correspond from my work email. That's even scarier because it has your place of work attached to the email address. AND that guy was a weirdo. But I am still alive to this day, and I also met my husband on Yahoo Personals, so things do work out. I just never let anyone come to my house or meet my daughter until after I'd gotten to know them for a really, really long time.
hello