I can't find someone

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
I can't find someone
5
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 5:06pm

I can't seem to have a BF for some reason. I'm on an OLD site and 2 dates is how far it gets. I agree I'm aggressive, practical and it normally takes a guy lot of time to see my soft side. But there are guys who I turned them as friends and they are sometimes surprised why I don't have anyone in my life - my friends think I'm attractive, smart, intellectual, very honest, god fearing, sensible with a very good personality.

What could I be doing wrong? Do guys find me competitive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 5:23pm
We all have many many dates that never make beyond the first meet especially on OLD. I dont think you are a special case.
It just takes a lot of dates before you meet someone interesting and interested.
Keep doing it. If you think you are a bit aggressive then try a little softer approach. I know men link soft with feminine so it is ok to show a soft side of you at the beginning.
Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 6:01pm
Well, all the guys that I've met seem to want only fun/sex and that's something I'm not willing to give until we are committed. Is my thinking wrong? I have started to doubt myself. There are less attractive girls out there who have very handsome boyfriends but I don't even seem to get a decent looking man in my life. :(
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 7:38pm

I doubt that's it. Unless you're obnoxious and combative on your dates (which I'm sure you're not), it's probably just a matter of not finding someone yet who is a good fit for you.

Maybe take a break from OLD for a while and come back to it "fresher" in a few months.

Do you do activities in your regular life where it's possible to meet single men in your age group? If possible, I think it's best to do a combination.

And what about having some of your friends (male or female) fix you up?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 2:26am
I agree with Juliara. It takes a lot of dates to find the one that fits, because it only takes one. Just be true to yourself and keep plugging away.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 4:38am

I know exactly what you are saying! It got to the point with me that I was really beginning to think I either looked or sounded someone from another planet! I would find that even after the first phone call I'd never hear from the guy again. I was on and off the OLD sites for about 2 years before I met someone; and I was just about ready to throw in the towel when one day a man sent me an email and just wrote that he thought we might have a lot in common. He didn't have a photo posted, but I decided to correspond with him anyway. After a few emails he gave me his phone number and I called right away...and lo and behold, we clicked from the get-go! He invited me to meet him for lunch and I agreed...and still I had not seen his photo! But something just told me to go for it, and this was against my rules...I never met anyone before seeing their pix.

We met at a restaurant and he was very nice looking...and was probably one of the nicest men I'd met in a long time. We hit it off and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

We've been dating now for quite awhile and really enjoy being together....who knows where it will lead, all we know is that we are having a great time.

My point is, please don't give up, and most importantly don't get down on yourself. For some of us, it just takes longer than others.