What would you do if anything?
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What would you do if anything?
| Sun, 09-17-2006 - 8:48am |
Been dating a guy for three weeks. We talk and text every day. He's very complimentary and romantic in his texts and on the phone. We have such great chemistry we took our profiles down. No sex yet at all but a LOT of making out. I was out of town for the last week. We did our usual talking and texting a few times a day and then towards the end of the week the complimentary, romantic stuff kind of dies off. Then he doesn't reply to texts or voicemails for the last two days. I'm thinking that maybe he lost his phone or something. Turns out he went to the mountains to fish and doesn't get cell service. Now he's got a cold and didn't want to get me sick if we were to go out when I got back which was the plan. When he got back and got all my messages he said he was disturbed with how this was playing out, that he's a free spirit and spontaneous. Normally he would have told me he was not going to be in range - this happened Labor Day weekend too. He's got a lot of pressure at work which I understand - I do too. But it seems odd that he's backing off all of the sudden. The last we spoke we decided to slow down, enjoy each other's company, get to know/trust each other better "so that forever has a chance" (his words). Part of me wants to cut my losses and let him go for good but that's normally what I would do. Maybe I should give this one some time for a change, not sure. What do you think?

I think his behavior (coming on strong and then backing off) is a big red flag and a strong sign that he has commitment issues and/or an unhealthy, fantasy view of relationships, so I'd say the chances you'll have a "happily ever after" with this guy are slim. But that said, I'd probably give him another chance to kind of start over and do things slowly and steadily. But I wouldn't be holding my breath and I'd definitely date other people as well, and continue to hold off on sex.
Sheri
I'm thinking that he may have felt a bit suffocated with the messages?
you didn't mention how many you left--but if you just started dating tht may have bothered him.Just my thoughts--and not saying you shouldn't have contacted him if he disappeared for awhile--but men are finicky sometimes
I think there is definately hope for a relationship. Especially, since he is still contacting you and has said so himself.
I would back off a bit, date others, and go out with him again whn he asks --but don't drop anything else to do so (EG don't break another date for him)
I'm sure it will be fine
He's sick of LOTs of making out w/no sex! Basically that's it in a nutshell!
That is why he is disturbed w/the way things are panning out (NO SEX) and he's a free spirit and spontaneous guy (prefers SEX instead of LOTs of making out w/no sex). The "so that forever has a chance" was for your benefit. Obviously you are seeking a committed relationship (reason for holding out) but he wants to just go w/the flow (have LOTs of SEX).
If you see him ONE more time and don't sleep w/him, he will GHOST!! Remember, he's sick of LOTs of making out!
If you don't want to have SEX; stop all the making out! What's the point?????