Uh-oh...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Uh-oh...
54
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 11:27am

Somebody stop me...I *know* not to get excited about a guy before meeting, I KNOW this...but there's a guy who's emailing me now who seems right up my alley and I find myself getting WAY too excited about getting his emails (we just started corresponding yesterday and there have only been 3). We're supposed to talk on the phone tonight and I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ugh. I'm glad to have a "good" prospect, but from experience I'm thinking it's just a matter of time before he either rejects me or I realize there's some dealbreaker involved.

Sheri

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 4:09pm

Don't fret, there is nothing wrong w/getting all excited as long as you keep it in perspective! Remember, NO EXPECTATIONS!

I'm excited for you too, but keep your options open!!

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Registered: 05-23-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 2:56am

You know Sheri, I would love to get excited again

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 11:18am

Thanks Steph and Chele...we ended up talking *twice* last night, for way too long (over an hour, total)...but we were both having too much fun, we didn't want to get off the phone!

We talked a bit about meeting (he works in my neighborhood) but he didn't take the ball and run with it and set up a meeting, so I'm a little disappointed about that. I'd really rather meet him in person ASAP so as not to build him up in my head too much before meeting (and vice versa). So if he calls again tonight and doesn't suggest a meeting, I might push it a bit.

It is fun to be excited about someone but I am afraid of the (inevitable?) let down. I'm really not trying to be pessimistic by saying that, just realistic based on experience. But I will try to be cautiously optimistic!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 11:20am
I would enjoy the feeling, but try to be realistic too. There's nothing wrong with thinking positively. I wish i was feeling like you are! good luck (:
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 1:30pm

Cautiously optimistic. I like that!

That's the catch isn't it. Like at a job interview, you need to be excited and enthusiastic to generate interest before you even know if you want the job or date.

I think it's great that you can still get excited about someone. I think that alone is something to feel positive about. You must be in a good place right now.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 1:36pm

Thanks. I hope that's the case!

All I know is that I've got a goofy grin on my face because I've gotten two emails from him this morning (I've responded to the 1st but not the 2nd one yet...I'm trying to play it a *little* cool, LOL!).

What I'm really dying to do, though, is just say, "let's plan a meet already, what's the hold up????" But I know that would be the opposite of playing it cool so I will try to reign in my impatience.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 3:53pm

It’s ok to get excited. I tend to do that too; throw in some negatives in my stories about dates so that my friends know I’m realistic he may not the the one for me.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 12:30pm

A little update...we exchanged a couple short emails during the day yesterday and had another good, long telephone conversation last night, but I got a little frustrated at the end when he was about to say goodbye and still hadn't set up a meet, so when he said something like, "I'll call you tomorrow", I said something like "or maybe we could actually meet in person" (I said it with a joking tone). He kind of laughed and he said something like, well I wouldn't be talking to you this much if I didn't want to meet you, and I said, oh, no, I'm not so concerned about whether you will change your mind about meeting me as I am about building up expectations of what each other is like, plus I just do better getting to know someone in person. He agreed and said something like, well I'm sure we can work something out soon and we said goodnight. But then he didn't send me an email first thing this morning (as he did both Mon and Tues) and I'm wondering now if that means he has changed his mind. Argh!!! I hate this. This is exactly what I was afraid of happening--that I would start to have expectations and that I'd get freaked out if he didn't do the same thing he's been doing, etc. (And yes, I do realize it's silly to read anything into a change of behavior with respect to a "habit" that is only 2 days old!!!)

So I'm trying to stay positive and not assume he's ghosted, and I'm emailing a couple other guys. I've decided that if he really got freaked out because I suggested (gasp!) that we actually MEET in person, then he's obviously not a good match for me, ya know???

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 3:00pm
Ok, further update--he just now called...said he was hoping it might work to meet today but work is turning out to be too busy. So he suggested tomorrow, but that doesn't work for me due to MY work schedule. So he said he'd call me tonight and we'll try to figure out another time...

He did say that he made an effort to wear something nice today just in case we did end up meeting which I thought was nice (he works at a non-profit so it's very casual dress).

So...we still don't have a meet planned but at least he called and he's not freaked out about my suggestion to meet! So I'm trying to chill and be patient--this is why I don't like getting excited about someone, I don't like the roller-coaster!!!

Sheri
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 3:16pm

Babe, dating is a roller coaster! It just is! It doesn't matter how much we learn or how smart we try and be about being realistic; if a potentially cool guy comes along, it's hard not to get excited. Just try and sit back and enjoy the ride! Though easier said than done!

Fingers crossed on this one.

Coolas

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