Done with online dating........

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2006
Done with online dating........
2
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 8:53pm
I'm totally DONE with online dating, and maybe dating all together! The men I have met online have been no different than the ones you meet in bars. I had one particular that I really liked. He sent me flowers at work, called me all the time, emailed me, made me feel special. Took me out to dinner, wined and dined me, and then turned into a jerk when I told him things were moving to fast, and never called me again. Obviously all he wanted was me to sleep with him, so good riddance, I guess. But it makes me sad because I felt like we had a lot in common and hit it off pretty well. Too disappointing; not worth my time or my money anymore!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 2:25am

Lifeafter33, take a deep breath. I think we all feel frustrated and bad at times...we all have our days. Take a breather...get away from the OLD for a few weeks and come back refreshed. I agree that there ARE a lot of A-holes out there who are extremely rude and cruel. If you feel bad don't worry, we're all human. It doesn't mean you're stupid, that you have bad self-esteem, that you're negative or you're too eager. Go with your gut. As a woman, I can TOTALLY relate to how you feel. I can read you all this sugar-coated crap about how it's you, you, you, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes we do get some pretty unfair things happen to us. But as strong women, we shake it off, and get back on the horse.

Good luck. You're not alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:46am

I know exactly how you feel. I am done with online dating myself (or at least have been these last 4 months). I believe it CAN work out for some people. I just think the odds are stacked in the men's favor and think it makes it easier for the players to continue to play the game with little consequences. Too many men are not really serious about finding a long term relationship. Even those who say they are wanting this do not actually want it or are saying what they think the woman wants to hear. Many are confused about what they want in life or in a partner, even well into their 40's. Like you, I have felt like I wasted quite a lot of cash with the dating sites. I think it is only normal to believe that after a year or so of having a membership that something positive should come out of it all. For myself though, it was like throwing money down the drain as I seemed to get few matches and what few I did meet or go out with ended up hurting me.

There was one guy I dated for about 3 weeks (Dan). Your guy you mentioned reminds me a bit about him, although it was he who backed off when I mentioned not wanting to see anyone else. He came on way too fast and was way too physical right from the beginning. I was majorly attracted to him, but he did not want anything long-term with me either. Looking back, it seems like he wanted sex without any kind of commitment--he didn't get it though. He had a Harley and I did not fit what he thought a "biker chick" should look like. I was maybe too refined for him. Anyway, I was burned by this guy big-time. He was the first guy I had met online that I had more than one date with. Interestingly enough, he messaged me in early Dec. of last year and hinted that he had some "free time". He had been jerky to me in our last phone conversation a couple months earlier, and I had not heard from him in between that time. Anyway, I was able to tell him that I thought he was a selfish guy and that I would not be seeing him again. I blocked him from my messenger list after that. I actually pity the poor woman who winds up dating him, that is if he ever finds a woman who meets all his "criteria".

There are many players out there, but I believe there are still decent guys around. They are just a lot harder to find. I wish you the best and hope you meet someone great. I may never reactivate my membership to either dating site, but I do believe anything is possible. Hang in there and give yourself some time before jumping back into the game.