how long did it take you to find someone
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how long did it take you to find someone
| Tue, 09-19-2006 - 2:23pm |
that you really liked online?
I've been doing it for about a month now and I've never considered myself to be very picky. I've gone out with 4 guys and i really am not into any of them. most of the people that contact me online go in the trash or i might be mildly interetsed. This is not cool...): I guess i was hoping it would be better. Seems like if a guy i like contacts me, i'll write back then he doesnt write back. I contacted someone once and they wrote back no basically once i sent my picture. It jsut seems like it's tough to find me a good fit online.

I don't remember...I've been doing OLD on and off so long (since the late 90s) that I can't really remember. I do know that I had my first relationship from OLD in the spring/early summer of 2000--so maybe a year? I had a lot of dates but no one where there was mutual interest beyond a few dates.
And it seems I've pretty much had one relationship a year from OLD since then, lasting anywhere from about 2 months to 18 months (but the 18 month one was LD so in "real time" it was a lot shorter ;-)).
I think expecting to find someone after just a month is highly unrealistic. And even if you do meet someone you like who likes you back, there's no guarantee that it'll work out in the long run.
OLD is a crapshoot and a numbers game just like dating in real life. It does increase the number of men you have the opportunity to meet but that's it. It's not a magic bullet.
Some people do get lucky and meet a guy who is right for them right away--but that is very much the exception and not the rule. The people I know who are in LTRs or marriages with someone they met online almost all went through months and months, if not *years*, of OLD frustrations before they met their SO...so don't give up but make sure your expectations are realistic as well.
Sheri
A MONTH?? Wow.
I've been doing OLD off and on since early 2000, mainly since I've been moving around for my career. I've had two long-term relationships from it. One lasted a year and a half, and we moved in together after about a year. I found out he was cheating the whole time, couldn't get off the internet or the IM, and was a lost soul who was mean deep inside, so to the curb he went. My second relationship was with a good man, a widower with two small children, but he couldn't commit. We dated about 9 months and then he flaked off to have a LDR with a woman in Australia (um, we are in the Midwest, so that's kind of commitment-phobic fantasy island if you ask me). He called me later to confess and asked me out. We remain friends, but not good friends. He's still lost and running through women like H2O.
In the meantime, I find I appeal to about 1 in 3 men I date, so not that many, at least not like when I was young and scorching! I've been told by one that I'm the reason he realizes internet dating isn't for him (ouch!). I've had to peel a few out of my house at the end of the third date, and stop answering the phone because they called constantly. I've been yelled at by a 65 yr old man who was a very negative, bitter soul for not wanting to meet. I've kissed men who couldn't possibly have been married by the way they kiss (but they were! Poor gals who married them.) And of course, I've been told on the first date that I'm too great a lady to lie to, that they are married and intend to stay that way but it's an open marriage, so do I want to be the mistress.
Yeap, takes a tough hide, which is why I think many of us retreat for awhile before trying again. I have three friends who've married their internet love interest and are happy as little clams. Maybe that will happen for me, but I do need time to exfoliate the hide sometimes. It makes me think I have no real understanding of humans, but then again, it makes me think I'll some day have good fodder for a book!!!! :-)
OMG ichickpee, I loved your post. Your stories were so interesting...my last relationship was like your 2nd one..older man but he flaked out on me...total commitment phobic. I also believe he will call again (he tends to every 2 months or so) but only wants a casual love relationship, nothing long-term because he's basically a two-time loser (two divorces).
OLD is quite a ride! You gave me something to chuckle about...I guess it happens to all of us...
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
I agree, patience is key. It took me three years of on-and-off online dating before I met my fiance, but it was worth the wait (and the one-and-two-date wonders I met along the way.)
If you're only one one site, maybe join up at another as well, since certain sites seem to attract certain types of people.
I've been single for over a year so ..... a month to me is nothing. I went all summer without dating anyone (dates yes) and trust me most people are like "wtf" your single, I don't get it.
Yes, just remember with each day that passes, you're one day closer to finding the person with which you were meant to be. :)
Of course, I've been saying that for about 5 years now. LOL!
A good while. I figured if my ex husband didn't want me nobody else would.
I found out otherwise though lol