skeptical about guy i met now

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
skeptical about guy i met now
17
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:14am

So i mentioned last week that i had a date with someone, it was wednesday actually. things went well, we stayed out for a while and he mentioned that he'd like to get together again and would I. Next day we emailed a few times, then i went away on saturday and dont have internet down there. He had mentioned that he was hoping to see me over the weekend, i asked him when he'd be around, but i left before i got his response. He wrote back a fairly long email (i got the message late last night) he said he wished he'd known i was out friday night because he'd have come met me, then put in parentheses (unless you were on a date of course) and then asked if i wanted to get together sunday (he wrote on saturday)

I responded back saying that we could maybe do something this week. THen i looked at his profile and he's added two pictures. Now i know we only had one date...but the fact that he added other pictures after he and i had our date makes me question his interest level for me. It seems that he is still obviously trying to attract new people with these new pictures. I am still interested in dating others as well...but i guess that is the thing with online dating...in real life you dont 'know' necessarily if someone is dating others...but with OLD it's pretty easy to know, especially if someone is still checking their profile. I actually have thought about that and that is the only unusual problem i see with OLD-just pretty much knowing that they are likely dating others. I have read on the boards about people who met online and are wondering when the other will take down their profile...what do you think? He definitely SEEMS interested, but now that he's put up new pics...i wonder.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 10:52am

He can be interested in you, and still interested in meeting new people. It's not an either/or thing! It's not smart for either of you to put all your eggs in one basket until you've dated for a while so don't take it personally that he's chosen to put new pics on his profile.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:16am
Yes, PLEASE do not get skeptical now.
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:27am
yeah i know...i am still talking to others and am supposed to go out with someone this week. I guess this could be a problem for as far as OLD goes. I guess in real life dating sometimes it can be better not knowing what the other person is doing in real life? lol...but it's not fair of me to wonder or be skeptical when i'm doing the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 11:52am

I've had some great first dates yet continued to update my profile or add new photos. Why? Because I believe it's smart not to put a great of "hope" in one person from early on. Keeping your options open is good, especially in the early stages of dating.

Plus, having your profile up kind of keeps the other person guessing. And that can be a good thing. I'd seriously question someone (and it has happened) who removed their profile after going out with me once or twice. I'd think they were a little too eager.

While everyone has a different approach to dating, I've learned it's good to meet a few people. Several if possible...to find the best match for me. You also get your money's worth out of your membership. Might as well make the most of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 5:29pm
I would not read too much into that now. Maybe meeting you made him consider the reality of his photos, or made him a little insecure (I hate my pictures). Or maybe he was trying to divert Murphy's Law, as in "he was too optimistic about you and needed to feel he was covering his butt".
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 5:33pm
yeah i emailed him back last night and i'll be honest..i'm a little upset that i didnt hear back from him all day...yes silly i know...i am talking to other guys...but i dunno...i wish he just got back to me today
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 10-02-2006 - 6:10pm

You need to STOP having expectations. Treat him like some guy your lukewarm for and put yourself in that situation.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 9:28am
well he wrote back last night. I think i am going to forget him though. He had asked me to do somethign over the weekend, i wasnt around but now he is saying his week is completely full this week...hmm with dates i suspect. I'm just going to tell him to contact me when he has more time and leave it at that. It's not a big deal...but to it's a turn off when someone's entire week is too busy to do anything. Then he even suggested i leave work early to do something! I cant!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:06pm

OK, I see a pattern here and don’t take it the wrong way – your always busy on the weekends that is primetime dating time and most women kill for weekend dates. If some guy were to write me off with that message your about to I’d think I was ‘better off’… can’t you find some time on Sunday to meet up with the guy – your entire weekend is booked?

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 12:19pm
yeah i know...i think the only issue i might have with online dating is knowing that i am getting squeezed in amongst other dates...now i dont know this for a fact....but i have a pretty good idea. So i will see what happens.

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