How do you explain to friends?
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How do you explain to friends?
| Wed, 10-04-2006 - 8:25am |
I posted a profile about 3 weeks ago and haven't had the nerve to tell any of my friends that I did. They're all married and will probably think I'm being an idiot. I have a date on Saturday night that I'm really excited about but I'm not sure how to tell anyone. How have you guys handled this situation?

When I first joined a dating site, my Mom was quite upset as she thought it was too risky to get involved in. She thought that letting friends "set me up" was a lot safer than going online to meet someone. That might be true to an extent, but I had had one too many dismal blind dates to ever have a lot of faith in that working out either.
For me, it seemed like the better way to meet people since I don't live in a large city. I was also a bit embarrassed in telling anyone since I had in my mind that it appeared "desperate" to be going online to meet someone. I think in the last year or two, the concept of OLD has become a lot more common place and I don't see anything wrong with it as a venue for meeting people. I just have had too many disappointments with it and no longer have an active profile on any of the sites I was a member of. I do not know when or if I will ever try it again, but I do think the stigma isn't as bad as it used to be as far as a way to meet people. And you never know, you might meet Mr. Right online.
Is the date saturday night going to be your first date ever from online? I'd say just experiement with OLD for a while and form your own opinion about it. After a few dates with men, then you may feel more confident that OLD is a good venue for meeting people. At that point you may feel comfortable telling a couple of friends. I'd wait a while to tell friends until you are doing OLD a little longer.
Good luck on your date!
Devorah
ps--There are great people doing online dating!
Thanks everyone for your replies. Yes this is my first date and I'm actually really looking forward to it. I spoke to him on the phone the other night for about 1 1/2 hours and it was very comfortable. There are alot of things in common. I had originally asked him for coffee or a drink but he extended it to dinner at the end of the call. I guess that's a good sign. I did confide in two friends last night and they were totally cool. When I showed them his profile they said that if they weren't with someone they'd push me out of the way LOL.
Anyhow, thanks again...
I just flat out lied! I don't do that very often, but I was embarassed to admit to it so soon after my legal separation.
So I told a few friends I had been set up by old high school friends. Remarkably they didn't press for details (Okay, i've been busy working and barely see any of them lately) But that backfired when he turned out to be a creep, so that made my old friends look bad. Of course, it would have sent a negative message had I told them I met a creep online also, so I guess I'm darned if I do, darned if I don't.
I'm starting slow and only contacting one guy at a time, so I don't think it will be too hard to juggle. The one guy I contacted this week lives closer to my work than my home, so I figure I just say someone at work set me up.
Any friend who would get to hear that I was dating would forgive me this lie if it works out. I'd come clean with the truth after the third date or so.
My close friends and family know I do OLD. Alot of them, especially my mother, tell me to be more proactive about meeting people, so one way I explain it as I am being proactive. The other things I point out is, I could meet people at work but I consider that A VERY VERY sticky situation and refuse to date anyone I work closely with, I am out of school so college is out, I am not religious so church is out, and I think I have a better shot of meeting guys online than at at a bar who:
1.) will remember my name tomarrow
2.) are proactively looking for a relationship
My mother worried about it at first but after the first few dates I went on she's gotten use to the idea. My close friends never seemed to care.
Thanks for your help everyone. I have told two of my friends and get this.... I told my daughter. She was so cool with it that it's unbelieveable. I have a date tonight with what seems like a great guy and my kid is excited. She promised not to call me once LOL!
I don't know that I'd ever tell my parents. If it were to work out tonight and we move forward I'll probably lie to the rest of the people....
Anyway, happy dating everyone...