Feedback on dating services?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2006
Feedback on dating services?
6
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 8:40am

After being dumped by an immature boy in the body of a 44 yr old man (needs serious conseling about his committment issues!), I am re-entering the dating scene. I'm a 39 yr old single parent & a high school teacher. As a result, my ability to meet people/men is limited. I want to try online dating, but I'm unsure about which service to try. Anyone have any advice on which services are better?

Thanks!
Lisa

Lisa

Mama to Dylan (12/6/99) and Finn

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 8:37pm

Hi Lisa!
I'm at a HS also, and every last man is married. Humpfh!

I think it pays to browse around. Most sites you can search for your criteria before you join and get some idea of what kind of guy uses that site from your area. I enjoy the window shopping! I only contact one guy at a time (and theoretically would only date one guy at a time if I ever get a date) so I don't want to join more than one. Here is my assessment of what I've evaluated so far.

Fast Cupid: I found ONE guy on that site, and luckily was able to buy 'Points' for 10$ so i could email him. Waste of money, since he didn't email me back. But the other guys I found were skanky. I'll be dumping that site ASAP!

Yahoo Personals: I was worried this would be a meat market, but I found a lot of people in my area here. Found a link for a one week free trial so I finally broke down and joined for one month+one week. (not sure how that will work if I want to cancel after the week).

Chemistry: I like the personality profile aspect of this, but didn't join because it seemed like it was more money. I'm not really sure compared to Yahoo or Match, and it seemed like a smaller number of guys in my area.

GreenSingles: If you're an environmentalist, or vegetarian, or hippie of some sort this is a great site! Not enough guys in my area, though, so I wish I hadn't spent my money there.

eHarmony: you have to be divorced to join here, so I'll have to wait. Just the fact that it seems more exclusive and has the personality profile makes me assume that when I finally get divorced I will meet Mr. Right here. I'll let you know next September.

Match.com: I didn't even make it through the profile process here. The prompts were all about what your hobbies are, and frankly it seemed like a shallow way to find someone. I don't want to know if we have hobbies in common as much as I want to know if we are compatible in other ways. This just didn't give me a good feeling.

Plentyoffish: Yuck. No guys here I would touch with a ten foot pole and I didn't find this user friendly.

Craig's list: I don't know if I was looking in the wrong place, but there were very few ads for my area. Guess no one else in town has heard of it.

Hope this helps!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 3:30pm
Hey, Watershed, we seem to be on all the same boards, although I'm just a lurker over here.
I actually had very good results w/Match and Chemistry. Never heard of Craig's list, Cupid or Plentyoffish til I perused this board. Don't discount the hobbies bit. Most guys who I ended up having more than 1 date with were guys who shared some hobby type interest, one guy e-mailed me specifically because I mention in my profile that my favorite place to ski is Telluride. He was so into the idea of a ski buddy that he met me w/o a picture! Turned out his picture was from about 4-5 years ago, but that was OK since he was still in decent shape. He was glad he took the chance because, at risk of sounding conceited, I ain't hard on the eyes. The deal breaker for him (after a couple dates, and lots of phone conversations) was my psycho X and my dd being so young. My profile caught the eye of 3-month Fling Guy because we both are 45 with toddlers and share a passion for jazz music.
Even M, my current love interest who I met IRL, sparked my interest in him because of our mutual love of skiing, diving, and sailing. Sure, for a relationship to go long term you need to have other things in common like values, compatible religious/political views, similar views on money- all things that generally take a while to really get a feel for even when one meets in a traditional IRL manner. But if one is just getting back into dating, it is good to take a here and now, live in the moment attitude. Having interests in common gives you a starting point.
I found Match has the largest pool of guys in my area. Ironically, I had just renewed my 6 mo subscription when I met M. Ended up hiding my profile after I realized that I wanted to be exclusive w/M. So I'm guessing, hoping, that I won't be using that subscription at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2006
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 6:47pm

You don't need to be divorced to join eHarmony. It worked for me, but there are a lot of people who don't like it for one reason or another (and the price is quite steep.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 6:59pm
I don't know how a person could join without being divorced. When I did my profile there, it bounced me out as soon as I said I was separated. When I enquired about getting my profile changed, they said I could as soon as I sent them specific info aobut my divorce decree, including the date filed, the judge and what court it was in!
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 7:34pm
Well, yeah, you have to be unmarried. Separated is still technically married, so of course you wouldn't be able to have a profile. But you can be never married or widowed & still be on eharmony.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:16pm
Ive only done Match & CL, & really, IMHO, Match is pretty decent. There is enough info in a profile, i think, to get a decent jist. & its not a confusing site - easy to figure out. I say "GO FOR IT!"
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