How Often Do You Want Contact?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
How Often Do You Want Contact?
12
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 5:46am

Maybe it's just me, but I don't want or need contact every day from a new acquaintence that I meet online. The two men that I met recently want to call me every day, and for me, that isn't working - it makes me feels smothered. I am the kind of person who needs some time to myself. When I talk on the phone with them, both want to talk for several hours at a time and I'm just not into talking on the phone that much.

I'm just wondering how the rest of you feel....perhaps it's all relative and a personal choice.

I have heard from a few gals at work who are single that they feel neglected if they don't hear from a guy every day.

What's your preferences?

Callie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 9:30am

I'm with you. I once dated a guy who called every day, twice a day! I hated it. I'm not a big phone person (frankly, I don't see the point) and he kept doing it even after I told him I'm not a phone person. And the conversations ran along the lines of "what did you have for lunch today?" I ended up dumping him because we had nothing in common and it was such a relief not to get those calls anymore.

Most guys aren't phone people, I've found, and a woman who expects a guy to call her daily comes across as very needy, IMO.

Avatar for dani20002000
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2000
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:17am

Well, I don't need a long drawn out conversation daily but a quick hello at the end of the day to let me know that I'm being thought of is what I like. It can be just a brief 5 minute call. I'm not into talking for hours on the phone either. I'd be just as happy with an e-mail also. I like a little daily interaction though (depending on how much I like the guy though).

~Dani~

 BabyName Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 2:16pm

I will be honest and say that you are I are alot alike. I too don't need that much contact from a new acquaintance during the early stages. Of course, I'm feeling this way cause my expectations are low and I have yet to have met the person in real life.

Now, on the otherhand, if I'm out and about and meet a man that I am intensely attracted to, then I would probably be a bit more open to communicating with him (or at least would want to) 2-3 times a week and could probably chat for an hour or so (on one of those calls).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 5:58pm

Me, personally, if I really like the guy, I enjoy a lot of phone contact. But I've actually posted on here about that very question, and I'm learning I need to back off some. I tend to call guys way too much. I did even have one tell me he's not a big phone talker.

If I'm not interested in the guy, I dread when they call and don't want to talk.

I once had a female friend who didn't even like talking to her boyfriend on the phone and he was the same way. They just e-mailed each other and chatted online.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 7:29pm

GREAT responses gals! I am agree that it depends on how much you like a guy as to how often you want to hear from him. The one man who (I thought) was the love of my life...well, I wanted to be with him 24/7!! So, I obviously haven't met Mr. Right yet (or again..lol).

Thanks for all your input!!

Callie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-10-2006 - 10:18pm
If i LIKE the guy, i dont really like to go w/o some sort of contact for more than 2 - 3 days - even just a quick text or Email "hi".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Wed, 10-11-2006 - 4:30pm
If I just met him online then I'd say maybe every other day or every two days is good...even through the first few dates. It is a huge turn off if a guy seems so desperate and obsessive that he wants to call every day and talk for long periods of time. I had two guys act like that recently and they both turned out to be almost stalkers so-to-speak.
Also, anything that starts out blazing is more likely to burn out quicker.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
Wed, 10-11-2006 - 6:06pm

I have to agree, if a guy wants to talk to me every day I assume he is too needy and stalkerish. Once a week between dates would probably be plenty.

I do recall those long conversations with my ex where we would talk about nothing and then neither of us could hang up. Looking back, I'd say that was a sign of boredom+immaturity for us rather than true love. I can't imagine doing that now, even with someone I totally loved.

I'd much prefer to be thought of via email that I can answer right away or at my leisure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 2:07pm
I agree with you! It definitely depends on how much you're feeling the guy! If you don't like him much, you probably won't want him calling you daily. However, if you've got the serious hots for him, you're more likely to appreciate the daily calls. They don't have to last for hours....
I'ma be honest: if I'm feeling a guy, I'd love for him to call to say hello everyday! Just keeping it real. Those two hour conversations about nothing....I can do without those!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 4:43pm
Guess I must be more insecure than I think I am. I LIKE when a guy makes a point of daily contact, granted it's a "Hi, just touching base" kind of thing. Then again, I typically e-mail for a week or so before giving out my phone number. By the time I meet someone IRL that I've first gotten in contact with OL , I've usually been e-mailing for 2-3 weeks. Maybe by doing that guys are pretty comfortable with me by the time we meet. My current BF calls or e-mails daily, sometimes more than once/day. We see one another 2-3 x /week. It's been like that from day one (we met IRL, then e-mailed for a week because he went out of town right after we met). I like my alone time, have plenty of that- maybe that is why it doesn't bug me.

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