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| Mon, 10-16-2006 - 1:23am |
I'm a newbie to OLD (e-harmony) and Ive just had my first heart-wrenching experience...I need someone to assure me that they're not all gonna be like this!
I met someone for the first time in my life (& I've been married twice!) who I felt really understood me...It was a whirlwind of emails, dates, hours of talking on the phone and finally sex. I'm totally into him, making plans, we're enjoying talking to each other daily, you know the drill. Then on Friday he calls to tell me he's canceling our date & he's not in the same place as me, but wishes he was. It's all too fast, & he's freaking out. What!?! Okay, so it's only been a month -- a little fast for me too, but I THOUGHT we'd both really connected.
I know I just need to be brave, put on my "big girl panties" & move on...My question is how to trust anyone these days? Has anyone else had an experience like this?

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flalola,
You have been married twice and you still think 1 month is long enough to make a connection? What is even more surprising is you claim that it’s the first time you felt someone really understood you...after only 1 month...!?
....Married twice!
Oh, don't let hal get to you.
Yes, one month is fast. I guess the hard lesson we learn is that just because I'm clicking and feeling like we really get each other, does not mean that he is.
The trouble is, maybe the problem is that it WAS really great and that is what scared him off. Men are so lame.
My goal: always go slower than I want to. Always.
After being married for 9 years, I found myself being single again and I was very skeptical of OLD but I went through a very similar situation as you. Like you I thought that E-Harmony would be great because of the compatiability factors, but I found that some of the guys did not want remotely the same thing as I wanted.
I also tried match.com (most people I know did not have much luck with this site) but
I figured what do I have to lose. Well, like what my friends said I went out on a couple of bad dates, but no one could not have predicted the wonderful man I met. Believe it or not, we have only been together for 9 months and already bought a house together. I know this sounds unreal, but when you are in your mid 30's you know what you like and what you don't like.
In my opinion, when you date someone for a month (like you) you know if something is there or not, (it sounds like he got scared) you will find the right person! Good Luck he is out there!
No flalola I am not mocking you. I'm just not part of the bleeding heart brigade. Sure, it's easy to blame men or E-harmony for your predicament but you are not 19 anymore. Do you honestly expect to go through life holding everyone but yourself accountable for what happens in your dating life? If you know it's "immature to have expectations of anything after a month" why should you care how a guy acts when you've already admitted that YOUR actions are the problem!?
>do you get many dates with that mouth?
Ironic that a comment like this comes from someone who thinks men are so lame.
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