reaons for doing online dating
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| Mon, 10-23-2006 - 3:45pm |
I've heard people say that people who do online dating usually do it because they are not meeting anyone in the 'real world.' I admit that this is probably why I chose to do it. If i was meeting all sorts of great people left and right in my everyday life, well then, I wouldnt need to go online. It sort of bothers me that I havent been able to find a decent guy in the 'real world.' What did people do before online dating came around? I have read other message boards where people say things like, oh what a loser they had to go online to find a date. Or, well really good looking people with great personalities dont have to go online to find a date. Comments like that bother me and i guess it makes me question myself a bit too. I'm not a supermodel, nor do i have the personality of Kelly Ripa...but it still makes me feel bad to hear people say stuff like, oh they HAD to go online. Maybe someday i will meet someone in the real world, but i guess i dont want to wait or wonder. I look at a friend of mine who has no problems meeting guys in the 'real world' and I cant help but feel a little jealous. She is pretty, but nothing great, personality wise, she is nice, but nothing out of the ordinary. She doesnt just find any guy, she finds the type of guys that i would love to be in a RL with. THey always seem to be the cute boy next door types with a good education, good family, good job...I have all these things too...but it doesnt seem to matter.
I dont think I am being picky either, i just want someone i connect with. Physical attraction is important at first too. I feel like i am surrounded by people who have no problem with getting dates in the real world...they are all married or have a SO. I'm so tired of looking like the loser who cant find or keep a man to save her life and has 'resorted' to having to go online. But if i take myself off...well then I just will continue to meet losers or drunks...

I'll be honest and state exactly why I went with OLD about seven years ago: my life was a complete shambles and I was about 60 pounds overweight.
No guy in his right mind would even look my way in real life. The only guy who ever did ended up being an abusive drunk who just loved to verbally confirm to me over and over that no one was ever going to look my way, so I just may as well stay with him.
To a certain extent he was right. I hate to admit it, but he was. Although I decided that I would rather clean out 52 cat boxes every day than to be with him. :)
So I put up a profile, hoping that some guy somewhere would "see me for the wonderful person I was underneath." *Snort* Yeah, that MIGHT happen.
Seven years later down the road, and 50 pounds lighter (those darn last 10 pounds!!!!), and my life cleaned up, I can see clearly WHY I chose online dating. Because I needed to hide behind a profile. I had no self-esteem whatsoever and in no way, shape or form would I even have considered trying to meet someone IRL. It would have been utterly and completely humiliating, I would have been laughed at, and I couldn't have taken it.
Everyone is different. I've met some truly physically attractive well put-together people who are doing online dating for entirely different reasons. Some are just too busy, some are picky, and some are just shy.
But my life was a train wreck, and that's why I did it.