dont know what to think

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
dont know what to think
2
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 10:53pm

here's my situation-i recently joined an online dating site-during the 1st wk, i get this long email from this guy who said his friend sent him a copy of my profile and after reading it joined this site and then canceled his membership so he could talk to me. he said hes never done online thing before and he wasnt interested in doing it himself. so anyways i replied back, we amazingly had lots in common so we started communicating via email for about 1 wk. well i hadnt posted a photo yet so we hadnt exchanged pictures but he then gave me his phone number and after our long emails, i was interested in talking to him since he lived locally. i called him and we had over 2hr conversation just talking about all kinds of stuff, I felt very comfortable talking to him. He also was nice, and wasnt trying to be sexual or anything inappropriate with me either. then he asked me if i would be interested in going to this concert with him next weekend but then hes like dont answer that cause i dont know if i can get tickets. so im like well let me know. he also said he would email me some pics of himself and that he would call me sun. well he sent me the photos of himself, and he was very close to how i thought he would look. so i go ahead and send him some pics of me. well i never got a call from him but then the next day he sent me email saying sorry he didnt call me because he got home late and didnt think it would be good time to call but i find out i have to go out of town this week so the concert idea is out and also says he was unable to open those pics i sent him but no worries. then he just ended it like hope u have a good week.

so i reply back saying its ok about the other night, and since hes going out of town this weekend, did he want to do something next week? then i said i dont know why u didnt get the photos so i guess u will just have to see me in person. well i dont know if i came off as being too agressive or he really did get my pictures and was disappointed in my looks (which i think im pretty cute??) but made some excuse that he didnt get it. I just feel like he may have bailed for some reason since I havent heard back from him yet and normally i would hear back from him same day. im disappointed about this, i really felt a strong connection with this person and now I feel like i may have screwed this up. maybe im just trying to hard? any advice on what I should do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 11:30pm

I hate to be the one to break this to you but that old line of "Oh I couldn't open your photo," is just an excuse.

Notice that he's not calling you, or talking to you as much *right after* he "couldn't open" your photo? Notice how this happened *right after* he "couldn't open" your photo? And notice how his plans changed *right after* he "couldn't open" the photo?

"Oh I couldn't open the photo." Yeah - right.

Don't take it that you're not attractive. He's just a loser who can't be honest. Just "next" him. And a good way to avoid this problem in the future is to post your photo on the site. That way you have a lesser chance of running into another loser like this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 1:40am

I agree with the other poster. More than likely you're very, very cute but not all guys go for the same thing. I think I'm downright adorable but have had guys I've had good email 'conversations' with just disappear after seeing my pics. At first it bothered me - a lot - but then I realized that it's their problem. Who doesn't know the guys who want a big-chested playmate on their arm? (I am not a big-chested playmate - for the record) I just think it's lucky that it didn't go any farther with them as they're clearly not the person I wanted anyway. That's the nice thing about online dating... there's always another one a few clicks away (sounds terrible, but it's true - let's be honest here).

That being said, if he calls and wants to set something up or asks you to resend the pics or something I'd give him another chance. I'm a computer idiot and it's possible he is too...

Let us know what happens.

L