date last night

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
date last night
8
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 9:38am

So i had another date last night. I know this is getting redundant from me, but he didnt really look like his pictures-whatever, I guess if i'm going to do OLD I'm going to have to just expect that. So he seemed nice, it was awkward at first though. Awkward to the point where I wasnt having a good time and wanted to leave. We ordered drinks and they took forever to get to us. Neither of us commented on it, but i thought i would die waiting for mine. Finally they came WITH the meal...lol. Once we started eating, i felt much better, and we ended up talking a lot. We stayed for a while after we finished eating.

I didnt feel a huge spark or anything, but i would go out on a second date i think. At the end he gave me a hug, then he kept talking and leaned down to try and kiss i guess? i dont know...but he just got the cheek. He actually emailed me today saying he had a good time...

The guy i had a date with on Friday called last night..i dont want to go on a second so do i ignore the call? i still havent heard from the guy from sunday...that was the one i felt interested in...oh well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:27am

HATE awkwardnes! But i am glad it got better!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:42am
thanks so was it awkward for you with Carlos in the beginning? did you feel a spark with him right away?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:24am

Actually, wiht him, it really wasnt awkward at the beginning. He is a very outgoing, easygoing, sort of gregaegious guy, & so am I, so we were pretty easy with eachother right off. Also, the venue for a 1st date was GREAT - the waterfire place. So much to do & see ... & to talk about.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:52am

'like ones I am totally attracted to right away'

this is how i usually like things to go...however that hasnt been happening much lately and obviously it hasnt worked out with the people it did happen with in the past...so I should maybe give things a chance since the converation was good and he is good looking...i just didnt feel a spark...dunno what's wrong with me

I have heard lots of success stories where the person wasnt overly into the other person in the beginning. My mom thought my dad was too short and too old at first...but 30 years later they still have a great marriage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 1:56pm
Ah, ladies, you are young, looks matter more to the young. My X is gorgeous, a money making machine, but such an ugly person. I decided to base my future relationships on personality, it's working well for me. My current BF, M, is an average looking guy, I didn't think I'd be all that sexually attracted to him, but I was in "nothing serious dating mode" when we met. However, like you with Carlos, Rebecca, I found him more and more appealing as I got to know him better. I was simultaneously dating 2 other men when we started going out, but M quickly became the only one I wanted to be with. M is such a passionate man, a fabulous lover, and that part of a relationship is very important to me. He is as adventurous as I am, spontaneous, supportive, and considerate of my feelings. I've met his kids, his father, his sister, and many of his friends. He is not perfect, but I am very happy when I am with him- the more time I am with him, the more I want to be with him. So IMHO give it a chance, that chemistry thing can develop, doesn't have to be there right from the start. I really believe that if one is specifically looking for a relationship it puts too much pressure on those initial dates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 7:40pm

I've been reading several of your postings and I feel as though I could have written many of them - I feel the same way as you on many things! Anyway, that's good that you are willing to go out on another date with the first guy (and good that he e-mailed you.) I have a hard time making myself be open to a second date if I don't find the guy attractive right off the bat. I'm definitely more comfortable seeing him again if I feel that initial attraction. But realistically that will not be the case most of the time so if you can find someone who you think there is potential for attraction to grow over time, that's the next best thing.

As for the guy from Friday, I don't think you should ignore him altogether. When I'm not interested in someone, I just shoot them a quick e-mail (rather than a phone call) saying it was nice meeting them but I didn't think we were a good match or something. It's nice to give people the courtesy of a response, even if it's not the one they're looking for. They'll appreciate that more than no response.

As for the guy from Sunday, it's only been 3 days so give it a little more time. And if you don't hear from him, I say you have nothing to lose by giving him a call. I know that the guy should pursue you but sometimes you need to help it along. Be proactive once and hopefully he'll come around. Otherwise let it go and know that at least you tried...

Meredith

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: corbeach
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 9:45pm
Thanks Queen. Im NOT that young, lol. About to be 39. But i CAN see that I have FINALLY matured enough to think "yeah, HOT is great ... but wonderful is WAY better"!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
In reply to: corbeach
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 2:39pm
To those of us who are mid 40's, 39 is young! LOL I think I'd have been so much better off if I'd divorced the evil one much earlier than I did, but then I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter nor the financial stability I now have. Reading these posts makes me realize I am grateful to have some maturity when it comes to men. Integrity, empathy and consideration beat GQ looks any day. I believe if one does not mind being alone, if you're happy just dating for fun, then it seems men are more interested in sticking around. If one wants a relationship then guys pick up on that and interpret it as needy.
Have hope ladies, due to the divorce rate the pool of single men in their 40's just seems to get bigger. Sad, but true. Granted, 50% are jerks who deserve to be alone (maybe 25% of those reform and are better men for having had the wake up call), but the other half are guys whose wives are the headcases not negotiating the midlife crises well.