new to online dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
new to online dating
1
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 12:34am

Hi,

I know online dating has lost most of its stigma, but I've been on eharmony for a few months and actually haven't told anyone about it yet. Part of the reason was that I was dealing with an ex-boyfriend who kept coming back into my life. Things were a little in the gray area for a while there during which time I wasn't active on the site. Anyway, now that I'm more focused on finding the right guy online, I've found it to be a kind of strange experience. How do you get comfortable with it? My first few phone conversations with a couple nice guys actually lasted over an hour, rather than the brief conversation that is recommended by the site. The conversations actually were good and not awkward, but it still feels weird to be getting to know a complete stranger. At least when you meet someone at a bar, you know whether you're physically attracted to that person, which is an undeniable element of compatibility. And there is just no context. I'm supposed to meet one of the eharmony guys for coffee this weekend. He seems fine in all respects and we seem to have quite a bit in common. But I am still feeling a little weird about it. And when do you actually give your last name? Do I just need to do this for a while to feel more comfortable? Are there other online sites that aren't meat-markets, where guys are just looking for hook-ups? Thanks!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 1:00am

Welcome to the board!

The way to feel comfortable, IMO, is to take things to real life ASAP. Exchange a handful of emails to screen and have one, maybe two, short phone calls, and if the guy meets your screening criteria, then meet for coffee. Don't try to "get to know" someone online or on the phone, because you can't.

I don't give my last name as a rule until I've gone out with a guy a couple times.

Sheri