How To Weed Through People
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 01-26-2007 - 2:03pm |
I would like to know how other people select who to meet when doing online dating. Do you email a few times and then talk on the phone before you meet or just email onece or twice and then meet? I like to talk to someone at least once on the phone before meeting just to get to know them better and to find out if it is worth meeting at all. One guy wanted to instant message but then wanted to meet immediately and wasn't comfortable giving me his number. To me this is a red flag. It is all so confusing at times as many men I talk to I am sort of indifferent to meeting because they don't seem to be that interesting, but I want to give people a chance. I don't have alot of time, so I don't want to waste time meeting men I am not interested in. How do others weed through potential prospects and decide who to date? I am getting a little overwhelmed at this whole process because it seems so time consuming.
Thanks

Hey GF
I would call the guy 2-3 times and then I would email him and then make plans the following week however if they are quiet on the phone they are the same in person to ! I would go with your gut insticts too and make sure someone knows where you are at in case the guy is a creep you at least get back up
Have fun !
Well, presumably you have your list of objective criteria (maybe age, height, education level, do they have/want kids, stuff like that) and you can screen for those things up front in the profile or in the first email or two.
The other things are more subjective and I think you get a feel for things as you go. I know for me, someone who asks to IM and who has trouble taking no for an answer is an immediate "next!" Same with someone who has really poor grammar and spelling, or who doesn't ask/answer questions and put some thought into the emails. Oh, and yes, they definitely have to be interesting to me...if they aren't, what's the point???
I usually exchange 3-4 emails and then move to the phone. I don't usually spend more than 15-20 minutes on the phone and if I get a good vibe from the guy, I'll say something like, "well would you like to meet for coffee?" I prefer it if he asks, but if the conversation is just going on and on, or it doesn't seem like he's going to, I will get the ball rolling...getting to the point of meeting in person (assuming he meets your objective and subjective criteria) is the important thing, because there's only so much you can learn from emails and phone calls.
Sheri