When to draw the line...
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| Sun, 01-28-2007 - 7:48pm |
Yes, it's me with another question!
So this one guy and I Have been communicating on match. There are a few things about him that I am not a fan of. He is a smoker (trying to quit,) he isn't sure of his religious beliefs but is open to exploring the idea more (I am Christian,)and he goes to strip clubs once in awhile (personally, I find doing such disrespectful - that's just my opinion.)
I enjoy his emails, and he seems like he's being upfront with everything. In his latest email, he asked me if I ever get "wild drunk" and if I like to dance. I drink once in awhile, but am not much of a partier.
He is 31, I am 24. I'm feeling torn. I enjoy his emails, and appreciate his honesty, but when do you draw the line? Everyone has their flaws, no one is 100% of everything we want, but still. Does he sound like a commitment phobe at all?
I feel myself getting better at this searching/OLD thing every day, thanks to all of you! :)
Thanks in advance!
Pink

Pink,
Those don't sound like minor "flaws" (smoking preference, religion, and entertainment preferences--strip clubs and wild drunk drinking). Those are big influences on a person's overall character and life. Personally, that sounds like too long of a list of 'strikes' all before you've even met him!!!!!
That's what I was thinking. Thanks for helping me sort it all out! :)
Pink
You're kidding, right? You're not seriously thinking about going out with this guy, right? This is a joke, right?
I mean, come on! "I'm trying to quit" is like "I'm trying to not be married to my wife"- you either ARE a smoker or you aren't (just like you're either married or not). He smokes.
You either ARE religious or you're not. It's okay either way, but if it's important to you then don't be getting into a relationship thinking "well, he said he's open to it and so I'm sure he'll come around". That's 100% woman-thinking.
"Oh, he'll change." No, he most likely won't change, and he'll be irritated that you keep trying to change him- and you'll be irritated he doesn't change. That's a sure course for disaster.
And he likes hitting the boobie bars and wonders if you get "wild drunk" and you aren't into it?
What on earth are you even asking us for? He must be either really hot, or really rich, or some combination, because thus far the only things you've told us about him are things that you DON'T like. What do you actually see in him?
I've long since ditched him.
Live and learn!
Pink
Well --- Asking if you get "wild drunk" seems a bit ... ?odd? to ask ... red flag to me.
He does something "occassionaly" that YOU find VERY offensive (strip clubs) ... that ALONE for me would be a deal breaker.
I've long since ditched him.
________________
Yay! Good for you! :) Don't waste the pretty, as the book says- you're worth so much more than a guy like that. Everyone is!