Can I save myself from myself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Can I save myself from myself?
8
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:04am
I had a first meeting with a guy two nights ago that I was really excited about. We planned to go out in advance, but decided we'd play it by ear what we'd do. He made the decision to take me to a very upscale restuarant, which I was a bit surprised with, and then we played pool at an upscale pool club downtown. He ended up being on call, and he spent most of the dinner on the phone. That was kind of lame. Otherwise, we had a good time. I got a little tired towards the end, after a big meal and some wine. Plus, I felt like the rhythm of the conversation was a little off because of his phone. He pointed out that I wasn't talking much, and I said that I was tired. He had to go home around 12, b/c he had to go to the hospital early in the morning. He was said he had a good time, and my response was, "Really?!" in my typical sarcastic tone...the catch is that I didn't mean to be sarcastic. I HAD had a good time, with the exception of the phone calls. Then he kissed me goodnight at the end and stuck his tongue in my mouth! That was a bad move. I still would like to give him a second chance, but I haven't heard from him. Should I call him or email him and say I had a good time? I hope I didn't screw it up!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:06am
One addition--I did try to clarify to him that I didn't mean the "Really?!" to be sarcastic, that I was just tired. I guess regardless it comes off negatively, but he still went in for the kiss, so...
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:40am

Ok...can you explain WHY you'd still be interested in someone who was rude and disrespectful to you???

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:57am
Had he warned you in advance and given you the option to accept a date with someone who'd be on call the whole night?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 1:03am

I am not offended by the phone calls. He is a doctor and told me beforehand that he had been scheduled at the last minute to be on call. I have a job that has required me to be on call, and I understand that it's really out of your control what happens. He could have said, let's reschedule for next weekend, but he said he usually doesn't get a lot of calls. I just think that the fact that he did have to deal with an on call issue put a damper on the evening, and didn't work well during a first meeting.

As for the kiss, his technique was a bit off-putting, but he was not manhandling me. I suppose I should have clarified that, too. He did not jump me...it was more like a mutual kiss that was not what I had hoped for.

I am hoping to give him a second chance, because our phone calls up to that point had been great and the time at the pool hall was enjoyable even if I was a little tired. There's nothing wrong with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 1:09am
Yes, he did. In fact, when called me for the date on Monday, he was not on call yet. He didn't find out he was on call until later in the week and he did warn me. He didn't think it was going to be a big deal, but then something did come up. He was apologetic during the meal. If this was some sort of narcisistic behavior, I would have gone home after dinner, but it was apparent that he was not doing it to show off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 1:49am

Well, if you were forewarned that he was on call AND he was sincerely apologetic about it, I may forgive the toungue down the throat thing, lol.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:21am

Okay, then, it'd be cool to let that go. As far as the kissing thing goes, give him another chance. Definitely send him an email telling him you had a great time. :)

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:57am

Ah, ok, sorry, I read that he was on *a* call, not "on call", my mistake!! So never mind on that.

As for the kiss--I do think that slipping someone the tongue on a first meet is not respectful, regardless of technique, but if you're ok with it, then you're ok with it ;-).

So sure, send an email saying you had a good time and would like to do it again, just to make sure he knows. That's all you can do at this point--hopefully he will call.

Sheri