Advice please!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Advice please!
3
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:09pm

Hi everyone,
remember me? Met someone online and was totaly taken thinking he was so great, but then he just disappeared, well he's back. He imed about an hour ago, he asked why I sent back his pictures and what's going on, not to be a hater. He tells me he had to move this weekend, and that he was really busy with that, he promises that he is not married or have gfriend, but if I don't want anything to do with him it's ok, he would be disappointed.
He apologized if I thought anything wrong.
I need your advice, what should I do? I had a strong feeling he was going to get in contact with me today. I did follow your advice I did not get in contact or look for him at all. I have another question, how can he get in contact with me through yahoo im if I deleted him? Thanks any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 12:50pm

Well, you're still on his messenger likely, so that's how he can get in touch with you. It's kind of the same way a person can get in touch with you before they have you on their list - you just search for their ID and you can contact them on IM anyway even if they haven't added you to their IM list - make sense?

If it were me, I would still be turned off. He could have sent a super quick IM or email saying "I'm moving this weekend so I won't be availble but I'll get in touch with you next week." That took me all of about 10 seconds to type so it can't take him long either!

Also the cybersex before meeting is a HUGE red flag for me. If someone starts even talking ABOUT sex to me much less trying to initiate cyber sex with me, that is a huge turnoff. I even had a guy that was starting emails wtih "Hey Sexy" before we met and I nexted him for that - it's inappopriate IMO.

Anyway, it's up to you on what you want to do, but if it were me, I'd chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. It's not that he might not be a decent guy, but there are several red flags and things that make you go hmmmm here. Too many, IMO.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 1:00pm

Yeah--I'd next him. Deleting him is not the same as blocking him--you'd have to do the latter for him not to be able to contact you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 02-03-2007 - 7:07pm
He showed you what he thought of you the FIRST time he bailed out. Why would you even THINNK of giving him a chance to show you the same thing again? Move on.