not calling when he says he will

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
not calling when he says he will
6
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:38pm

Okay, I have been emailing this guy for like a week now and he said he would call me Friday, but didn't because he said he left my number on his desk. Wanted to end the convos there but gave him another chance. So he called me today, after he asked for my number again since he couldn't find it on his desk. So we talked and he said he would call me later tonight around 8 He didn't.

That is 3 strikes for him in my book:
-didnt call friday
-needed to get my number again because he couldn't find it on his desk
-didnt call again when he said he would

We have a lunch date planned for Friday to meet, but I am think I shouldn't even meet him. If he did this stuff, I shouldn't. I have been reading "He's Just Not That Into You" and the book says I need to move on from this guy. Granted we haven't met and there IS no relationship, but I don't want to go to lunch and he may not even show after this flaky behavior!

Is it worth my time to return his emails when he emails me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 11:16pm
If you guys just started talking and haven't gotten to the phone yet, first get that done before going out with him. Don't invest more time and energy than he apparently is. I think it's too soon to really tell if "he's into you" or not if you haven't even talked on phone or had a date. Just let him be on the back burner till he gets his act together. Hopefully he'll act fast...you may get swooped up by another man soon :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 12:46am
Yeah, that would piss me off as well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 3:51am
You've answered your own question. Move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 9:06am

Thanks.

A guy friend of mine hates the book, whatever , and says by cutting someone out the 1st time, you may be acting hasty. I'm like nah, because if he really wants you, he won't mess up like that.

P.S. We have talked on the phone twice, but oh well. On to the next man.LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 10:51am

OK, so now you actually have talked on the phone and he's doing what he's "supposed" to do and you're still nexting him. Being a forgetful person myself, I'd cut the guy a little slack if you otherwise like talking to him. I think for me, I'm inclined to cut a guy more slack if I've enjoyed the conversations with him up to that point and I don't see any other red flags. But the reverse is also true - I'll keep a tight rein if the guy is annoying me in other ways or has some red flags.

So if you like him, why not go ahead and meet up on Friday. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work and you're out an hour of your day. But like your guy friend said, you could be nexting a little too hastily and miss out on a nice guy who's just having a forgetful week. Stuff happens.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 02-03-2007 - 6:59pm

I agree with Vexer. Stuff happens, and what if he's one of those cute-but-absent-minded guys?

Give it the first casual meeting and then see what happens. He'll show you what he thinks soon enough, but from just one or two little mistakes you can't draw any serious conclusions.

HJNTIY is a great book (it's what I like to preach after all!) but it's not the absolute end of the conversation, and it can encourage women to be too hasty. The reason is that lots of women aren't hasty enough- look at how many post here saying they've been dating some guy for five or six weeks but he still never calls, is dating other women, emailing to fake profiles, blah blah blah. THOSE are the women that HJNTIY is trying to wake up.