What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
What should I do?
4
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:07am
I need some advice right away.I've been dating a guy I met online for a little over two months now and we are supposed to be exclusive...we've already gone over that talk.I logged onto my dating profile the other day to delete it because he told me he was uncomfortable with it being up, so I was more than happy to get rid of it.Even though I still had it up, I never, EVER checked it...it was just sitting there.Out of curiosity I went to his profile just to check it out again before I deleted mine and his profile showed he had been active within the last three days.This shocked me, especially because he wanted me to take mine down.What should I do in this situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:20am

Don't sit around mulling over it. Just pick up the phone and tell him exactly what happened in a matter of fact but calm voice. Also, tell him you wanted to come right out and ask because you don't want to give it more thought than needs be (in other words, you could dump him right on the spot...lol).


If he's not trust worthy, then on to the next guy. HOWEVER, maybe he was wondering about YOU because yours was still up so he kept his up. He may have logged in just to see your profile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2007
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:34am
OK...his profile is still there but he wants you to take yours off?
Also, if he logged on and looked to see if your profile was there it would show him as being active...doesn't mean anything more than that. Don't worry...tell him to take his off too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 11:35am

You need to talk to him about it and as Devorah says, not stew over this too long. Be honest and say that after your conversation when he asked you to take yours down and you went out to delete it and noticed that his was also still up. Tell him that you are also uncomfortable with his being up and that this should be a mutual decision and effort. Say that you feel he should also take his down and see what he says. Don't be accusatory or even mention that you saw he was logged on within 3 days (chances are, he was active w/i 3 days because he saw your profile was still up and then he asked you to take it down). But say basically what is good for the goose is good for the gander so to speak.

I find it a little strange that he wouldn't have deleted his own when he went on to see yours still active and decided he was uncomfortable - that is just... ODD! But even still, give him the benefit of the doubt this time. Once you ask him in a calm, non-accusatory manner to take his down too (you honestly DID just notice it when you were taking yours down and you don't know how long it had been prior to THAT when he'd been active), see how it goes. It really is only fair.




Edited 1/30/2007 11:38 am ET by vexer_hw

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Tue, 01-30-2007 - 3:39pm

Calm down.

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