My Experience With OLD ..so far!
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| Tue, 01-30-2007 - 12:40pm |
Well...as a 50 year old in search of a companion I decided to give Yahoo.com a try.
It lead to a hit. Now, I live in an "old" area of Florida so didn't think there would be many available guys in my age bracket here and was enlightened to find that there were a few. Anyway "R" and I spoke on the phone ..a few rather lengthy conversations..and we settled on a meeting time and place. I guess I should have had my witts more about me and paid attention that while these phone calls were very lengthy ,they were in fact, all about him. Needless to say, dinner was all about HIM as well and after saying goodnight in the parking lot I knew that was the end of that. He did e-mail me several more times afterwards and I suppose if I was looking for a "friend" I could have continued on. I considered it a good free meal and moved on!
I did have one weirdo IM me...that never went anywhere. As I look back the same people are still on this OLD service. I decided to move on. Went over to Match.com to see what all Dr. Phil was talking about and was pleased to find a whole new "crop" of guys.
I started conversations with 4 men. One was a Dr. who insisted I call him. I finally did and unlike "R" found that he had no idea of how to carry a conversation....I would have welcomed one even if it was about himself! He persisted on e-mailing me and asking me to call him...OK..whatever. I still have not called him back. Two others were really nice guys and I enjoyed pen paling them but neither ever got past that. Yet another and I decided to meet up for a dinner date (gotta love the free food!). We were instantly at ease with each other and after about 15 minutes of conversation I settled in to be yet another very good listener. Yup..another "ME" type guy. Last e-mail I got was wishing me and mine a happy New Year! LOL!
In the meantime someone had located me. He had a great profile but I was so reluctant to date another guy after the last two that I was very elusive with him. I have to hand it to him for his persistance...while he continued to write to me he was careful not to be too pushy. I finally agreed to meet him at a restauraunt of MY choice...and yes, it was a very nice one at that. I actually frequent this place with my parents and children so knowing everyone that works there was a benefit..I also know the menu..another plus because I had decided in my head that if I was going to sit through one more long boring night of listening to some guy talk all about himself I, at least, was going to have a nice dinner! Here's where it gets good ...."T" shows up and we immediatley begin talking about common interests...he asks me questions, wants to know my opinion, how I feel about things...can this even be happening? I pinch myself. Then he tells me he almost bailed on the date...funny so did I! His are for reasons beyond his control..his job takes him around the world and often times with as little as 24 hour notice. It happened the day of our date! He had to start traveling to Japan the very next day! Thank goodness for modern Technology as we were able to keep in touch via telephone, yahoo internet phone services, e-mails, IM's. 4 weeks and 3 days later we finally had our 2nd date! 5 days later he gets called to North Carolina. He'll be back around the 1st of February and on the 14th leaves for a job in Mexico that will last at the very least 10 weeks!
He has asked me to be his girlfriend, he has taken his profile off Match.com.
I just wanted to give some encouragement and say to hang in there because while this may not be the end all for me at least just knowing there are still some good ones left out there!
So..that is how I went from OLD to LDR!!!!

Yep, I'd say your experience is pretty representative ;-), esp. the men only talking about themselves. John Gray would say that's just men being from Mars and that you should just speak up and interrupt like a guy would and start talking about yourself, but that's not really comfortable for me so I prefer someone more "evolved" like your LDR guy.
So, are you really ok with that? Are you sure you want to be exclusive with someone you've only had two dates with, and who will be gone so often and for so long? Don't get me wrong, if you're cool with it, great, I just know that for myself, I need/want more time together (I've done the LDR thing and it's just not for me).
Sheri
Hi Sheri! Actually it wound up being a few more than the 2 dates..when he got back from Japan and we had our 2nd date it really evolved into more. We were pretty much inseparable as far as going out to meals...breakfast on Sunday, Dinner Monday, Him coming to watch me bowl on my bowling league on Tuesday (and an all women league too!LOL) I litterally drive by his house on my way to work in the morning. Two of those mornings he had me stop by to pick up lunch he had made for me(home made veggie soup)..and a cup of coffee!
In other words it was pretty intense during that time. Yea..it hurt when he got called away so quickly and No I am not sure I want to have a LDR...at first I thought to myself heck, a LDR would work just fine as I am already alone, independent and what difference would it make? But when you start to fall for someone it's a different story altogether!
The good news is he has mentioned to me several times that he is trying to change his priorities...used to be work, a relationship, travel...he wants to change to relationship, travel, work. He is at an age where I can see this happening. I think I would like to give it a try ..at least for a while and see if his intentions are true.
Once he gets back from Mexico he is home for about 2 months...maybe even longer. Last year he said he worked for 10 months and this year he is shooting for 8.
IF..and that's a big IF..things go smoothly he is definitly of an income where he could afford to fly me to places he is working for some time as well...and he has mentioned this type of thing. I like things to go along slowly so we'll see what happens!
Cool! Keep us posted on how things go--and I hope you get to go to Mexico ;-).
Sheri
Thanks Sheri...now I have to go to the LDR board! LOL!! But one of our common interests is traveling so who knows!