Someone I know msg me on CL

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Someone I know msg me on CL
5
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 9:56pm

Someone I met last week at a meetin.com event sent me an email on CL today. I know because as soon as I saw his pic I recognized him. I emailed him and asked if it was him and he said yes and that he hadn't even made the connection that he had met me when he sent me the email, I still had my pics up there when he sent the email. Now he seriously wants to go out with me outside of meetin and he asked for my number.

This sounds great in theory excpet when I met him last week I didn't feel much of a physical attraction to him. He is much shorter than me and not really my type appearence wise. I did like his personality and he seemed really funny and I liked some of the things he wrote to me about himself. But he is also a vegetarian and I am not. I'm not really sure what to do with this. I think he would be really cool and fun to hang out with, but I'm not really sure I would want to date him. And it also concerns me about what will happen if I go to any other meetin groups now. I don't know what I should say to him. I don't exactly want to tell him that I don't like the way he looks and I still want to be able to go to meetin events without it being all wierd now... ugghh... so real life meets OLD now for me too. Guess it was just a matter of time.

Jen




Edited 1/31/2007 9:59 pm ET by jfur5
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:06pm

Hmm. It's a little awkward to tell him now that you think you'd be better off as friends since you already wrote back to him--I don't think I would have written back to him if I were only interested in him as friends but that's water under the bridge.

I think you almost at this point have to go through with a lunch meeting (or something similar--NOT dinner or anything too date-like) and then let him know afterwards you don't feel any romantic spark and would like to be friends, because otherwise anything else would be awkward.

I'm curious though--why is him being a vegetarian important? Just curious--that's not something I would care about one way or another (I'm not one but I've dated men who are).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:21pm

Well, it isn't really that important. It's just that he listed that in his CL ad that he was hoping for people that were vegetarians. And, I've never gone out with a vegetarian so I guess I'm just a little unsure about it. The more important thing to me with this is that I'm not really physically attracted.

I know I probably shouldn't have emailed him, but I wasn't really sure if it was him or not and I do think I want to be friends with him. He did ask if I was interested in his 2nd email back to me. I guess that's why I was trying to figure out how to tell him that I want to go out but just as friends. Hmm... a lunch date or coffee meet wouldn't be so bad though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:52pm
I agree with Sheri. Maybe meet him for something laid back. After that, sen him the email saying that you just don't think there's a romantic feeling on your part but you'd like him as a friend and see if he's OK with that. If not, oh well. If he is OK, great - you might have a new friend. Just be aware of him possibly trying to convince you to date him still. If he can't accept that it's a friendship only, then you might have to leave him behind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 10:53am
I don't think I could date a vegetarian, personally.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 10:58am

Hmm, maybe it's because I live out in granola land ;-)--finding things to eat hasn't ever really been an issue for the vegetarians I've known/dated, and there are LOTS of them. Now a *vegan*--that would be tough ;-).

Sheri