PLEASE PLEASE ADVISE ASAP

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
PLEASE PLEASE ADVISE ASAP
8
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 6:37am

Only started OLD a couple of weeks ago having been married and going through a seperation.I spotted a guy whose opening line said "Fun and Friendship"and his profile stated that he was also seperated .He was also very cute.I sent him a IM saying "Hi" he emailed back saying thank you for the Hi he would be away for a week and looked forward to hearing from me and that I had a wonderful smile.I emailed back 10 days later ; said I was new to this ;just chat nothing personel.He replied again just responses to what I had written and gave me his personel email address and hoped I'd had a R&R weekend.I waited a few more days so as not to appear D&D ;again just chat said I'd been busy at work,hoped to catch up on R&R at the weekend but was in the middle of moving asked if he'd had a R&R weekend said I'd had some photos taken of myself and my puppy to send to my mum made it sound quite humerous (which it was) and that they would be ready in a couple of weeks if he'd like one , if he didn't that was O.K.
I got a RE RELY today saying
"Thanks a photo would be nice,sorry to hear things are hectic,moving is the pits"

Whats that all about??
I never said anything about things being hectic,I was just trying to make "conversation" he never meantioned his weekend.I still don't know anything about him other than what is on his profile and one sentence for goodness sake.How do I approach this email thing? or him for that matter should I have done things differently?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 10:39am
You did kind of imply that you'd been busy with work and with moving - I would have probably said the same thing about things being hectic - he's just trying to make conversation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 11:07am
OK, you found this board - good! My reply on the Answerman board stands. You are WAY overthinking this and WAY over-reacting. He's just making conversation and commiserating about being busy at work and also moving.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 11:42am
My best advice is for you to get your divorce before you get involved with anyone online...same can be said for the guy. A situation of playing with fire for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 2:44pm

Agree with Vexer & Stacey. He picked up on what you said about moving, which is a hectic experience for anyone, and he was trying to be empathetic.

Don't cut bait on this one. He seems like he might be a real sweet guy!

Moogie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-1997
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 3:06pm

ITA with the other posters and wanted to add to remember that it ain't over until it's over. I've read posts from other women who've fallen for men who were separated, only for the men to turn around and reconcile with their wives.

So tread carefully with this one.

Good luck!

~H

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 3:42pm
Yes, it happened to me. I was single, never married and I did what I swore I would not do--go out and date a guy who was only separated and not completely divorced. I got burned BADLY...took me months to even think about dating again. I still have scars--it was bad. Trust me, you are only eligible to date someone if you are divorced. Sorry, but separated doesn't count. I learned my lesson--the hard way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 4:35pm
I agree with vexer and Stacy on this one. He sounds like he was just making conversation and why not give it a shot just to see. If he doesn't turn out to be relationship material maybe you guys can be friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 6:15pm
A thousand thanks for your replys everyone ; Boy I need to do some healing myself don't I?
I probably sounded as though I was far too busy to even email him!! I'm such a clutz .
Not a chance of reconciling with my husband but I have no idea about his situation.
I guess it was the "Fun and Friendship" part of his profile that appealed to me
(and he's pretty cute !)Thank goodness I was able to vent here and not in a Re Reply to him.
Divorce first then date sounds like the way to go even if its not with him.
I'll reply after the weekend so as not to appear D&D.I don't think I've blown it yet.
I'll keep you posted.