New to online dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
New to online dating.
3
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 5:12pm
I would like to aggressively try online dating. Which websites should I start with. What essential information should I include in my profile? How do I communicate with potential dates via these websites? Could ivillage users please provide tips on this subject. Thanks in advance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:04pm
Please help.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:16pm

Check out the various top web dating sites, e.g. Yahoo, Match, eHarmony and they have advice on what to put into your profile.

ex.
http://personals.yahoo.com/us/static/dating-advice_perfect-profile
http://www.match.com/starterkit/

Do what I did, do a Google or Dogpile search on "tips online dating profile"

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:29pm

Sorry - you have to be patient with us! This board doesn't have the traffic it once did.

Honestly, it depends on what you are looking for. Match.com and Yahoo Personals are both a good place to start but of course they are pay sites. There are free sites such as Plentyoffish.com or Craigslist.com but on the free sites, you tend to get a lot of people that are less serious or are looking for sex. The other ones that claim to be matching sites (like eHarmony.com or Chemistry.com) cost you quite a bit more and are definitely NOT for everyone - people usually either like them or hate them.

As for what you put in your profile - you want to talk about your interests, places you like to go, thing you like to do. Avoid silly cliches like "my friends tell me..." or "I enjoy candlelit dinners and walks on the beach" or "I am as comfortable in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as I am all dressed up". Check out profiles of "the competition" on the site you want to be on and see what you like and dislike about them. Act as if you are an outside observer and are interviewing that person for a job. What stands out? What makes you roll your eyes?

Pictures are very subjective. You should post them if you can and feel comfortable. Some people don't like to post it because they are in the public eye or are embarrassed because they don't want people to see them online. To me, it seems silly, but it is a choice! You need several RECENT CLEAR pictures. A headshot, a full length shot and an active shot if you have one. But the first two are critical. If you don't want to put them on your profile, make it clear that you will send them upon request in your first email.

Also, you must have a thick skin and be very prepared for rejection and do your best to not take it personally. It takes a while to get used to and it is a tough way to find a date but it has worked for a lot of people. But just b/c someone doesn't respond back to you doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. It was that person's choice for whatever reason - don't give it another thought and move on.

As for communication - each site is different so it depends. Ususally you or the other person initiates an email or wink through the site and the other person responds or doesn't! If they respond, you can email on the site a couple/few times and then it's good to move it to the phone and/or meeting in person as quickly as possible. Going on too long online is usually the kiss of death. You build up expectations of who this person is and usually they turn out quite different. But as for what to talk about - make sure you have something in common with that person (don't pick them just cuz you think they are hot) and comment on your common interests that you saw in the profile. People like it when you read the profile.

That's a start. Browse around and go to the website (links at the top of the page) that has a lot of great info.

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