Update On Previous Post

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Update On Previous Post
2
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 3:35pm

I had posted a few days ago about this guy I met through online dating. The first date went well. We spent about 3 hours together and he told me he definitely wanted to go out again. He asked for my number. Anyways about a week went by and no phone call, so I just called him to say hi. I wanted to see if I could get a feel for if there was any interest still there. We talk for a little bit. He was laughing and joking with me and told me that he was glad to hear my voice. At the end of the conversation I told him that I had a good time the previous week and that maybe we could do it agian sometime. He then said maybe tomorrow (saturday) and asked me if I would be around. I said that I had errands to run and other than that I should be around. Well, he didn't call me yesterday even to say he couldn't do anything. What is the deal with this guy? Did I do something wrong? I wasn't trying to pressure him by saying that maybe we could get together sometime again. Did I say the wrong thing? I just wanted to make one phone call to him letting him know that I had a good time. Was this wrong of me? I am not calling him ever again, but do feel bad about the whole thing. I think that he could have been considerate enough to call me to let me know that he couldn't do something last night. I re- read his ad and it says that he is looking for friends first, no pressure, and that he wants to have fun and doesn't want to be depressed etc., so now I am thinking he doesn't want the same thing as me. He answered my ad and I clearly say I am looking for dating to long term relationship. I guess I assumed he was looking for the same. I should have clarified this better. I guess this is a learning experience for me. Any feedback.

Thanks

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 5:33pm

I think it was you I posted to about my experience with "prodding" guys by emailing or calling them, rather than letting them call you. I think a lot of guys have trouble saying "no" to a woman, so they say "yes" even though they're not *all* that interested, just to be nice and polite. So I think that's probably what happened here. It's not that you did or said anything "wrong", per se, he's just not interested enough to go out with you again and rather than risking hurting your feelings by saying something when you were on the phone (which is part of the reason I suggested sending an email rather than calling), he said "sure" but then didn't call to follow up, hoping you'd get the hint from his not calling.

Anyway, let this one go. He may still call, but I wouldn't hold your breath. Try not to take it personally--he may have other stuff going on in his life that has nothing to do with you. And next time, let the guy contact you...if he's interested, he will.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 5:47pm
Thanks for your reply Sheri. His ad now says he is looking for Fun and that it doesn't matter what you age is as he has dated women of all ages and he is looking for someone that wants to have fun and they won't be disappointed. This to me is not someone looking for a LTR like myself, but instead someone that doesn't want a commitment. He answered my ad and led me to believe that he was looking for the same thing as myself, but he sounds like a total player to me. I should have paid more attention. If he does call now looking to go out again I will say no.