Do all men onilne lie????
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Do all men onilne lie????
| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:32pm |
Hello all,
A bit about my backround. I was married for 18 years. Not a very nice marriage. There was abuse and cheating. I have been seperated for 3 years and I have field for divorce about a year ago. Hoping to have it all warp up soon. I spent the last 3 years picking up the pieces of my life and making sure my kids are alright. Because maybe a good thing but he don't bother with them at all, which is sad. But we are okay and going on happy in life.
So I started dating in Dec. But the problem is I must have a sign on me that say CALLING ALL HANDS AND PIGS THAT LIE. Against myself I joined Match. Between working fulltime and the kids I don't really get alot of free time. I do go out with friends but my ideal guy is not picking up someone in a bar.
Okay here we go, you get the wink and you read their profile,(but they seem to lie) mind you I am very careful because I have kids, And you wink back, then here goes the emails. They seem good and then they rush the face to face meeting. Mind you in my profile it says a guy who will respect me and my values. Mr hands comes alive and you try to be nice with the slow down whats the rush? Can I at least know your last name. Then all of a sudden they have to leave and you don't hear from them again. Mind you this is guys in their 40's.
I know things have changed since I last dated but what is going on? Don't people like just to get to know you and see if you are looking for the same thing? Is there no more relationships? I could use any and all advice because my membership is almost up and I don't think I want to renew it. Where are the real men??????? Thank you all for listening.
A bit about my backround. I was married for 18 years. Not a very nice marriage. There was abuse and cheating. I have been seperated for 3 years and I have field for divorce about a year ago. Hoping to have it all warp up soon. I spent the last 3 years picking up the pieces of my life and making sure my kids are alright. Because maybe a good thing but he don't bother with them at all, which is sad. But we are okay and going on happy in life.
So I started dating in Dec. But the problem is I must have a sign on me that say CALLING ALL HANDS AND PIGS THAT LIE. Against myself I joined Match. Between working fulltime and the kids I don't really get alot of free time. I do go out with friends but my ideal guy is not picking up someone in a bar.
Okay here we go, you get the wink and you read their profile,(but they seem to lie) mind you I am very careful because I have kids, And you wink back, then here goes the emails. They seem good and then they rush the face to face meeting. Mind you in my profile it says a guy who will respect me and my values. Mr hands comes alive and you try to be nice with the slow down whats the rush? Can I at least know your last name. Then all of a sudden they have to leave and you don't hear from them again. Mind you this is guys in their 40's.
I know things have changed since I last dated but what is going on? Don't people like just to get to know you and see if you are looking for the same thing? Is there no more relationships? I could use any and all advice because my membership is almost up and I don't think I want to renew it. Where are the real men??????? Thank you all for listening.

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No, not all men online lie, but there are many who do, in my experience. I haven't really had the "Mr. Hands" experience early on though--most guys I've met in person have been pretty respectful. Are you making your first meet for coffee? Most guys don't get too handsy in Starbucks, LOL.
If they seem to lie in their profile, then why meet them? I screen pretty heavily before getting to the point of meeting and if they lie about anything in their profile (even their height), that's it, I'm not going to meet them.
I've actually met a number of men who seem to be honest, and who are looking for relationships, but unfortunately they either haven't been men I'm attracted to physically or there's some other issue (lack of compatability on other things). So I know they're out there--but they are few and far between. I just posted this weekend about another experience with a liar so I know what you mean about feeling like you have a sign on your forehead! But I know there are good guys out there, so I keep trying.
Sheri
Yes all men online lie.
Mark
My theory is that we attract people on a subconscious level. From my family-of-origin was a mother who had underlying anger toward men because of a father that did not want her. She was a great mother but put down my Father. My first relationship was the woman I married who , no accident, is an angry woman as well. She too has a distant father. After my divorce, I seemed to have attracted women (online and offline) who had emotionally-physically distant fathers who in turn has this subconscious resentment toward men even though overall they are these compassionate and kind people. The resentment came out in different ways.
I have done a lot of spiritual work as well as personal growth work and lo and behold, I am now attracting these women who have different backgrounds who don't have such issues. I truly believe we all create this subconscious energy field that attracts others and events into our lives.
Regardless of what you believe, I do contend that we all need to be the best we can be for ourselves in order to be a good mate. We do need to deal and heal our own stuff.
But of course this comes from a man who lies online. :-P.
Mark
Hello, thank you for answering me. I don't understand these men. I know there as to be compatability and physically attraction as well. I try to really heavily look into their profile but after I meet them it is to late. We meet for lunch but maybe I should take them to starbucks LOL. I know I just started but I just want to meet one nice guy who wants more then a botty call or one night stand. Maybe I should take them to the library LOL.
This dating is a hard job. I think all men should come with a book. To help us understand them. I might give it alittle more time. Hopefully my luck will change. Thanks again,
Beth
Are you being real. I was hoping I will find someone who is real. Or just a friend. Thanks for answering. Beth
I was teasin about the lying part. I knew it was a risk to do that online with someone who does not know me but I could not resist as being one of the few token men who post here.
Dating, whether on or offline can be a rough and tumble experience. This is a good group to get support and wisdom.
Good luck,
Mark
Yep, I would agree, to a certain extent. That's why I've done as much work on myself as I have, but I believe that I've come as far as I'm going to come (not that there aren't still things to work on and improve, but I think I've addressed and healed the "big things"). Frankly, I think the fact that I've done the work and am far more emotionally healthy than most of the single men out there is a large part of why I haven't met someone right for me. I'm sure you realize that for men in our general age group, you are rare in the sense that you've been willing to do the work--it's much more common for women our age to have that willingness. Not that many people are a good match for me on that level and it's hard to to tolerate emotional unhealthiness. So while I think being emotionally healthy is a good thing and I wouldn't want to go back to where I was, it's definitely a mixed blessing, because now it's much harder for me to ignore behavior that I would have tolerated or overlooked in the past.
So, one can heal oneself, but that doesn't change the quality of the dating pool, it just makes it much, much smaller.
Sheri
They get handsy at LUNCH??? Geez louise! That's pretty bad!
The only thought I have is, do these guys say in their profile that they are looking for fun, or something like that? Or do they talk about sex in their emails before you even meet them? If so, I wouldn't meet those guys.
Sheri
I agree with you Sheri. My comments were not directed at you specifically even though I did place my "reply" to your posting. Just sharing my theory to Beth.
Hugs to you,
Mark
Ah, ok, gotcha ;-).
BTW, I may be down in Portland the first weekend in March--I'll email you to see if you'll be around if so.
Sheri
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