8 year age difference

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
8 year age difference
13
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:57pm

Hulllooooo!!!

I am currently on a dating website which can be interesting at times! LOL! However I finally met up with a guy whith whom I had been exchanging emails with. HE is 8 years younger than me - I'm 34. At first I thought, wow what an age difference! But we had email conversations and it seemed fine. We spoke on the phone and it was fine. We finally met on Friday and it was AWESOME!!!! I called him Sunday night and asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie I had rented and he did. He was such a gentleman!!! I looooved it! So, here I am really liking this guy, to my surprise actually. And although I don't really have a question ... I'm not sure how much of a relationship I want with someone, or so I have told other men, but with this guy.... it's different...and I have NEVER dated someone younger than me...not even by a year. I guess I will continue to enjoy the feeling. :)

incl

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 9:49am

Hello,

I am currently dating a guy one and a half years younger than me. I am 30 going on 31 soon. Also I have never dated anyone younger than me before. I have dated a guy about 8 years older than me and I don't feel we have a lot of things in common and sometimes I find him a bit boring.
However with the current guy, he is more fun.

But a friend of mine make a comment which disturbed me a little. She said dating younger guys could be a problem because their maturity level is not the same as the women. But so far I have not seen any immature behaviour.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 9:57am
Thanks for the feedback/input. I feel the same....mind you it's VERY VERY new....and I have gone out a couple times with 28 yr olds who are a lot more immature.....wait and see I suppose!
I do think age is a number and it is more about how much you have in common, if you have fun together etc.....
incl
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 10:23am

I have a question regarding paying. With all the guys that I have dated who are older than me, they never allowed me to pay on a date. The guys I have dated are 3 to 8 years older than me.

But with the current guy, whenever I offered to pay he accepts. Like last weekend, I offered to pay for the parking, he accepted, I paid for the movie tickets (because he went back to retrieve his wallet in the car) and he paid for dinner. On our first meet, we were going to get coffee for both of us and I offered to pay and he said ok.

I don't mind paying but my only concern is, I don't want to date someone cheap. Being frugal is ok but please not cheap.

I also don't know how well he is financially. He had one serious relationship that ended about 6 years ago.I told me that in his previous relationship, his ex gf was walking full time while he was a student. I guess she pays for everything. He said he tried to help out financially by taking odd jobs. I think it is because he is not aware of the dating etiqutte(sp?)

Yesterday we went to lunch and because I don't drive he picked and dropped me to my office. He did offer to pay but I said let me pay and he accepted. My boss suggested that next time, I should not offer to pay.

I guess what I am saying I am a little uncomfortable here and this is something new to me.
Otherwise he is decent and kind hearted person.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 10:53am

I don't understand--you're offering to pay, he's taking you up on it, and now you're worried that he's cheap--that doesn't seem fair to me. Cheap (IMO) would be if you didn't offer and he looked at the bill on your first date and said, "your portion is $25".

I don't think you can judge him solely on accepting your offers to pay. He may think that you're offering because you truly WANT to pay and that he's doing what you want by accepting. If you don't want to be paying on any given date, then don't offer.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:11pm

I see nothing wrong with the age difference, as long as you are compatible & you dont find him immature.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:25pm

Yes, Rebecca, the little "Red Flag" you mentioned is what bothers me. You just hit the nail on the head.

The reason I offered to pay is because from our conversations, he seems very frugal. But I know he is a hard worker who have taken up all kinds of odd jobs before. He has been working for about 2 and a half years as an engineer.

Sheri, I won't offer to pay next time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 10:01pm
My boyfriend is 11 (35) years older then I, and it's the greatest. I think age is just a number.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 11:01am

For some reason, I've always had better luck with the younger guys I've dated.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 11:09am

I know what you mean - I've found the older guys tend to fork over more dough towards dates and stuff...but I also would always feel guilty if they paid for everything.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 11:16am

Hey Stacey!

Ya know after reading your post I felt more charged and more positive about it. I have always been uneasy about dating someone younger but like you said it IS the maturity that counts! A huge bonus is he is a cop and that is what I am working towards right now - the same force but doesn't mean we would be working same division or even shift. But the point is, the fact he is doing what I want to do, he supports 110% and even though we've had only two dates (including the one where we met for the first time) he has made it clear to me that he can't be a player and never was one.
So, yah, so far he seems awesome - and a total sweetheart. I think he's even a bit shy ... it's sooooo sweet... time will tell but for now...I'm happy :) My friends probably wouldn't agree with me wanting to date someone younger (or my parents) but too bad! :)

incl

Pages