52 and back to dating
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52 and back to dating
| Sat, 02-17-2007 - 5:56pm |
I am a 52 yo man taht has spent 30 years of my life married, suddenly I find myself alone and have no idea how to go about dating again. I am not much of a drinker or into the bar scene nor do I want a woman that wants to spend a lot of time there. I have tried the internet dating sites but really haven't had much luck there. I am not looking for one night stands I am looking for that special lady that I can spend the rest of my life with. I have considered changing "my look" but I have to wonder who I am kidding because if I find someone I would want them to like the real me not someone I have made up. I would really appreciate any advice especially from the ladies out there.

You said you are 52 and back to dating. I am going to be 56 in two days (happy birthday to me). I have been married and divorced, been a single parent since my son is 2 years old he is 22 and graduating college this year. I am back in the dating scene after a 13 year relationship has ended, he was a committment phobic who after 13 years of dating still only wanted dating and I needed and deserved more. I am also very new to on line dating (OLD), I am only on it one month, that 13 year relationship just ended. I also can't go back to the bars and the discos and the clubs, been there done that and I don't want to go back there again, it is depressing, standing around waiting for someone to acknowledge you, talk to you, ask you if you want a drink or to dance. I can't go back to that lonely scene. But we have (OLD) now, this is just as disappointing as the bars, you just do it in your home and you don't have to stand in a bar or club all night long wondering if you will give some one your phone number and if they will call.
Just be your self. I also want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. What keeps me going is knowing that I can be on these sites for months or years, but it just takes that one special person that you meet that will be the one for you. But in the mean time you have to weed out all the people that are not right for you.
But try to remember it only takes that one special person, and we all hope that we will some day meet that one special person.
Lots of luck to you and lots of luck to me.
Welcome to the board. I'm 48 so in your general age group. My experience is that there are TONS of great women out there in our age group and not so many great guys so the odds are in your favor. I've found that there are way more women than men at any sort of singles events I've gone to (for example, singles hiking groups organized by a club in my area), so going to things like that that interest you should give you good odds.
As far as online goes, have you made sure your profile and photos are the best they can be? If you're comfortable with it, people on this board can give you feedback if you either post your user name and which site you're on, or cut and paste the text here. The biggest thing for me these days are character and integrity (although of course you can't really "show" those things in a profile) and finding someone who has an energy level close to mine, who enjoys getting out and DOING things. Looks are less important to me than those types of things (although of course there has to be at least a basic level of attraction).
Sheri
Welcome to the board! Take some time and read the "February Roll Call" posts, they will give you some insight to online dating. I'm in my mid 50's and started OLD after a 23 year marriage so I know where you are coming from. The BIG advantage with OLD is that you "assume" people doing OLD are like you, they are looking for "some type" of relationship, versus meeting people out IRL, you have no idea if they are looking to date, hoping to find a LTR or just want sex. Disclamer here....people doing OLD will "say" they want a LTR but they really have NO idea what they want, or they have way TOO much baggage to have a LTR or they lied in their profile and really want only sex. But, OLD lets you meet more people, some you will meet face to face, some you will date and you never where that may go. Like one poster said, "it only takes ONE" and you have to be patient, have a tough skin, be persistent and learn how to weed out the frogs from the keepers!
I believe in my heart that there is a "right partner" for everyone, the magical thing about that statement is finding that person that shares similar interests, is emotionally available and is looking for the same type of relationship you seek. If you want to send a link to your profile there are great women on this board that will be happy to share their thoughts and ideas about possible ways to make your profile the best it can be.
I have been doing OLD for over a year now, communicated with a bunch of frogs, dated emotionally unavailable men and BANG, I have just met this most wonderful man, we click, we have chemistry, we share so many similar values and beliefs....I don't know where this will go but I will have lots of FUN with this guy finding out! Don't give up, the right woman for you is out there, and you can find her with OLD. Have FUN doing OLD and don't give up!