Hmmm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Hmmm?
9
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 9:07am

So this guy and I have been in contact for exactly 2 weeks. We emailed, and then I gave him my # and he called me. He's been really good about calling when he says he will. At the end of each phone conversation, he tells me when he'll call again, and he always calls on that day.

He seems interested and our conversations are awesome, I'm just wondering why he hasn't mentioned meeting yet. He's been assertive about emailing and talking on the phone. The fact that he calls me and doesn't ask me to call him is a good sign.

He lives a little over an hour from me. He's mentioned the distance and I said in my opinion it's not much of a problem. Recently he started coaching baseball and this weekend he moved out of his apartment, plus he teaches so I'm sure he's been busy. But he's been calling!

Should I give him more time, or should I fade out, or do something else?

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 9:58am

Have you suggested that you'd like to meet? I know in the past I've talked to a couple guys that were very gun-shy about asking me to meet, but once I indicated that it was something I wanted to do, they were all for it.

I say, if you're enjoying the phone conversations, then you may as well keep talking to him. But, I would suggest meeting because if you have great chemistry over the phone your expectations are going to build and then if that same chemistry isn't there in person it will be a bigger disappointment than it needs to be.

It has only been two weeks... I've actually been in relationships with guys I met online that I talked to much longer than that before meeting, so I don't think you need to really turn up the heat for awhile yet.

Just my two cents! Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 10:41am

Next time you chat to the guy suggest meeting - that simple.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 7:51pm

Thanks for your replies.

I don't want to get stuck in the trap of waiting "too long" to meet. It seems like all the guys I get into contact with on match show interest but it either takes them forever to suggest meeting, or I have to do it.

We'll see what happens.
Thanks again! :)
Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 9:53pm

HJNTIY, Chapter 1: "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out"

If you matter enough to him then he'll get off his butt and find some time inbetween coaching and moving and working. It might be that the only time he can make is 2 to 3:30 on a Sunday afternoon, but if he's into you, he'll call and say "I would like to meet you in person but I'm jammed up for time, the only time I have is..." and you'll go from there.

Personally, I vote "no" on the whole "drop a hint" or "tell him to ask you out" bit. He's a guy. He met you via an OLD site. I think it's pretty well implied that you're there with dating in mind. He's got your email, your phone number, you talk frequently.

He has every sign that he needs. If he can't figure out that he should ask you out if he's into you, then he's an idiot and you don't want to waste much more time with him; and if he's not an idiot, then it would appear that he's just not that into you and doesn't WANT to ask you out, or else he'd do it. Even if he were shy, he'd find a way- stuttering and stammering or something, but he'd make it happen.

He hasn't. I say if he does ask you, sure, go out, but in the meanwhile don't hesitate to wink at some other cutie you see, don't hesitate to go out with someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 10:38pm

Thanks for your comment!

I've read the book and that's exactly what I've wanted to verify.

I'm all about not wasting my time!

Better off with that dog I mentioned in the other posting. ;)

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 5:32am

The only thing I am wondering is why you haven't brought the subject up with him yet. If you want it, go and get it.

Deb

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 8:19am

I don't know, part of me is burnt out on this OLD stuff and part of me would like to not have to initiate meeting for once in my life.

He said he'd call yesterday and he didn't, so he's probably going to do the ghosting act.

Moving on and taking a break!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 9:36am

Unfortunately this happens a lot! Although you live an hour away from him; it truly would mean that he would have to make time to come visit you, etc. I find that it takes a lot for people to step out of their comfort zone. I'm sure he's wondering "do I want to"; "is it really worth it", etc. to make the drive and come see you. Don't get me wrong he may be interested but I would suggest meeting other people (possibly in closer proximity) and also would suggest meeting him 1/2 way to see if there is any chemistry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
In reply to: pinkdaisy4939
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 6:31pm

Well, the guy said he'd call Wednesday. By Friday I'd figured he'd ghosted, since he's always called when he said he would. And I'm fine w/him ghosting. Apparently it's what some people do and freaking over it is worthless.

But then...

Today he called. He apologized for taking long to call and said he hopes I've been doing well. (I've noticed he has been mildy inactive on match.com.) He said to give him a call back and if he doesn't answer he'll return my call later.

Back to, Hmmmmm again.

Pink