Guys Not Paying Attention To Profiles

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2005
Guys Not Paying Attention To Profiles
4
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 8:01am

I just put an ad on craig's list and received alot of replies that I am trying to weed through. There is this guy that emailed me and I emailed him back. He keeps asking me details that are stated clearly in my profile like he asked me how old I was among other things clearly stated in my profile. This is very annoying to me. How do other people handle this. I really don't feel like taking the communication any further. Am I being to harsh? I don't think that I have been weeding through responses well enough, so I end up meeting guys that don't even want the same thing as myself. Even if you state dating to LTR you still get alot of guys that just want a casual thing responding it seems. Also, is it a huge red flag when a man won't give out his phone number? To me it is. That has also happened recently with a guy I was emailing back and forth. Thanks for the feedback!

Karalyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 10:29am
That is annoying and back in the day when I was dating I had that happen as well.
Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:06am

What profile? If it was on CL, you don't *have* a profile, do you? It's actually pretty tough to keep track of the details of someone's ad on CL because of the way CL is structured so I cut people some slack on that. I usually say something like, "as I said in my ad..." in responding to their inquiries but if I otherwise think the the guy seems promising I don't make a big deal of it.

The phone number thing OTOH--next.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:38am

The reason guys do this (write you emails that don't seem to pay any attention to you ad/profile) is because guys write dozens and dozens of emails, and most of them don't get answered.

So, to save time, they just have a generic email that they send to any girl that seems even remotely interesting.

I don't know what to suggest. On one hand, I know why guys do it, and it makes sense; when they do actually get a response, now you've got their attention and they want to learn about you. To be honest, since he sends the same email out to everyone, he might not even know which one YOU were, so simply saying "go check my ad" on CL won't work.

So from that point of view, you might as well keep emailing him a bit and see if there's anything there.

On the other hand, and the point of view that I lean towards, if a guy isn't interested enough in you to pay attention to your profile or ad and actually learn about you, you shouldn't waste any time with him. Next.

If he won't give you a phone number... again, two schools of thought. Some guys are cheating, so they don't give you a number to keep things hidden. But just like women, guys are warned to be careful when it comes to online stuff; there are crazy women just like there are crazy men, and if a crazy chick gets your phone number and starts calling you endlessly it's a pain in the butt.

I'd say treat it like a yellow flag- it's a warning, but not the end of the world. When you're ready to meet for coffee or lunch after a few emails, having a number to call is a good idea; if he refuses then treat it like a double-yellow flag, meaning be really careful because he might very well be cheating on someone. If he refuses AFTER the lunch/coffee meetup, move on.

How on earth did anyone meet BEFORE OLD? Sheesh, people used to hand their numbers out in bars, didn't they? Now we've got more phones than ever but we're more careful about giving out our numbers! It doesn't make any sense!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 9:02am
I agree about the generic response messages that guys copy and paste to every "interesting" girl. They are very easy to spot because they are full of generalities ("We have a lot in common...I'd like to speak to you more...etc etc"). I personally think they are extremely insulting and NEVER respond. If a guy isn't going to take the time to write me a personal email then he can screw off. :)