How do I tell the parents how we met??
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How do I tell the parents how we met??
| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 8:30pm |
I'm currently talking to someone I met through MySpace back in October. We're not together yet, but may come really close. We lost touch with each other until last month. We've been sending messages through MySpace, talking on the phone, sending text messages, and meeting at my school quite a bit (I'm at a community college). However, my mom does not agree with online dating. With all these crazy people out there, I can't say I blame her- but I'm very careful about meeting people I meet online, which isn't often. How can I explain to her (and the rest of my immediate family) how we met without involving MySpace? This seems really hard to do, but eventually I'm going to have to say something after a while if this turns into a dating situation! I could really use some help on this one. Thanks so much!


I would just be honest about it and ask your mom to respect your judgment.
I think lying about it would cause her to have more questions about your judgment than being honest, if it were to come out. Plus I just have a problem with lying about stuff like that anyway--honesty is the best policy and all that ;-).
Sheri
The way I see it, you have 2 choices. Either lie or just tell them and let them know that it's your life, not theirs. Usually people will fall in line when you're truly ok with what you're doing. So if you're ok with meeting people online, they may be too. In the end, no matter what happens you need to decide what's more important to you--being honest and standing up for your life or
I appreciate your input! However, I went through this in high school and my mom flipped out! Now that I'm in college and a young adult at 24, I feel that I know enough about online safety to know my boundaries. My sister-in-law met my brother the same way at a different website, but I'm not sure if they told anyone how they met (or if anyone even asked).
Personally, I'm OK with online dating. I still don't feel as if my parents are. I don't know if this has anything to do with me being the youngest and the only female, but I feel like I can make any decision about my life and be OK with it. I don't like the idea of not telling the truth either-it bothers me. I was raised to tell the truth. But again this isn't the easiest thing to tell my parents, should things turn serious.
Oh I absolutely hear you. Having been where you are and now being 33, I guess my point is are you always going to live life to suit and please your parents? Maybe I'm looking at the bigger picture a few years down the road, but the more you hide from them now, the harder it becomes later.
In this case then, I would think when she asks where you met, you could say 'through a mutual interest.' If she pushes, just say "look Mom, I really don't feel comfortable discussing the details of our meeting as I know your reactions and stances on certain things, so please let's not talk about it.' And leave it at that. Ultimately, if you just let her know nicely that you're not going to share, there's not going to be too much she can do.
Let us know what you decide.
My take is that this defines "growing up," i.e. being able to do and say things that your parents don't like/disapprove of. I am not saying it is easy but for me that what defines a person from being your parents' little girl/boy to an adult.
If you can do it with them then I see it easier in being able to do other hard things in the world, e.g. work.
Let us know what happens.
Mark
I understand why this is hard. I am close with my mom too
Wow! So there IS hope!! It's funny you mentioned your story because all I usually do on MySpace is communicate with my friends from high school and college and to network with Hospitality majors. I'm not there for dating purposes. He just came out of nowhere and was trying to make new friends here since he was moving from Kentucky. As it turns out, our friendship is slowly starting to develop into something more. I have no regrets about that at all.
My schedule is as crazy as you described, so I really don't have a whole lot of time to meet men. However, we're both doing the best we can with our schedules so that we find one day during the week to get together. I'll definitely keep your advice in mind- along with those who have responded- as I move forward with this situation. I'm glad your parents didn't have a problem with you meeting your bf on MySpace. I hope it's just as promising on my end when it gets to the bf/gf stage! :)
I'll keep you posted on the outcome...take care!
Steph :)