Membership fees?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Membership fees?
6
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 2:58pm

I am completely new to OLD and have been lurking on this board for a few weeks just trying to figure out how it all works. The biggest problem I'm having now is getting even one decent pic to post (I swear I'm decent-looking, but photos of me come off like mug shots...I might as well be wearing an orange jumpsuit!), but I'm working on it.

I'm confused about the different sites and don't have a ton of money to spend on memberships, so I'm asking for some guidance here. How many sites do you usually post on at once? Do all of them charge membership fees and, if so, do they all cost about the same? Is there any advantage to getting the type of memberships with the highest fees (if they have different levels of membership)? And the biggest question: How do I know if the site is legit? Also how about if I join and there are no listings in my geographical area? Do people ask for (and get) their fees refunded?

Any help that you can give is so appreciated. I feel as though I've been living under a rock, but I was married for a long time and after that have had a few kinda longish relationships. Now I'm 'free' and don't really want to be so I thought I'd give this deal a try....

Marin (MizzFitt)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
In reply to: mizzfitt
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 11:10pm

Hi! Welcome to the board!

So to answer some of your questions, there are many sites that charge fees, and the fees definitely do vary. I personally have never found any real benefits in the higher levels of membership, the basic has always worked for me. That said, there are several free sites: www.craigslist.com (where you can post an ad, no profile/picture, but you can say whatever you want in the ad), www.okcupid.com, www.plentyoffish.com, and www.myspace.com.

When I was actively dating, I usually went for one paid site and then a couple free ones, just to keep myself amused.

As far as your concerns about geography, most of the sites (eharmony is an exception to this) allow you to join and browse profiles without paying, so you'll be able to see what's available right away. With eharmony you can join and receive a limited number of matches for free, but you need to pay before you can see all of your matches, and you can't see people that the site hasn't matched you with. Also, on many sites (match & yahoo, I believe) you can send free "winks" and "icebreakers" to people you're interested in without paying for the site.

Anyway, I hope that helped answer some of your questions. Online dating can be a rough world, but it can be really fruitful too. I met my current bf using OLD (on OK Cupid), and he's great, so I know it can happen! Just keep a thick skin and post whenever you need to vent!

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2006
In reply to: mizzfitt
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:48pm
I feel you on the picture thing. I too am not photogenic and my friends are not patient enough to snap the 100 shots it would take to get a great one of me. So, I used my digit camera with the timer and spent an afternoon committed to getting some good ones. Practice with angles and lighting, you'll get it eventually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
In reply to: mizzfitt
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 5:06pm

I'm actually thinking about Glamour Shots even though I've heard warnings against them because you look so unnatural in their photos. I've seen quite a few though that were done intentionally for a realistic effect, so maybe it depends on what you're going for..? Ughhhh....if only I could just post a pic of me from the neck down! It's my face that looks demented in photos, as if I'm always sneering or something. It sounds funny, but to me its just frustrating! And its pathetic that such a thing is keeping me from posting on a dating site. But thanks for all of the advice!

Marin (MizzFitt)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
In reply to: mizzfitt
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 7:34pm
I am new to OLD, my friend took a couple of digital photos of me but they really didn't look good. I was also thinking of glamor shot but I thought that looked like too much. I looked in my telephone book and called a couple of places one place told me they take 20 shots for $200 dollars, he asked me if I was a model. Then I called another place "Willis Avenue Photo Digital Photo Center". I live on Long Island, New York. He said they would take two shots for $29.99 and if I wanted more it would be 10 dollars each. It was amazing what they could do with a camera program on a computer, he smoothed out some bags under my eyes, fixed my color (I was a little blotchy, cropped the photos where I wanted them to be cut, even took out a little wrinkle crease by my neck. He ended up giving me 3 photos for the $29.99 (I told him I was going to use it for a dating site.) He gave me a disc with the photos and E-mailed the three photos to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
In reply to: mizzfitt
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 12:08am

Wow, angienyc, that's a deal! I'm originally from L.I., but I think flying 'home' from here (I'm in North Carolina now) would be a bit extreme! Actually, I decided to take a bajillion pics of myself with my own digital camera and, out of almost 100 shots, I think 3 are fairly okay. I don't have one of those great editing programs like PhotoShop, but someone told me about the Google version that you can try for free (called 'picassa') and I might try that.

This OLD thing is sure alotta work!

Marin (MizzFitt)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
In reply to: mizzfitt
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 8:09am

With some sites you can get a refund if you cancel within a certain length of time, but you'd have to read the Terms & Conditions to find that out.

As far as how many sites to post on, that's up to you; you may discover that most of the guys out there are on the same sites, and sometimes you may find a few different ones on different sites.

It all depends on what features you want in your search.

As far as legit....I'm not quite sure what you mean by that question.

A good photo? I guess you could have a friend take several photos of you and then choose the best one. Or if you have the funds available, have a professional take your photo.

There are some sites you can joing for free but you won't get access to all the features, such as replying to emails, etc.

Good luck!