Lisa Nowak/Bill Oefelein NASA Saga

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Lisa Nowak/Bill Oefelein NASA Saga
1
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 4:48pm

I have been reading some sites/threads about Lisa Nowak, the astronaut who tried to kidnap and possibly murder her rival in a love triangle with Bill Oefelein. I've read a lot of posts about how outraged people are that she was not charged with attempted murder or that she is out on bail wearing a monitoring device, free to go about her life to a degree.

While I believe that Lisa was very wrong (maybe mentally disturbed) to try to kidnap &/or murder her rival, I think few realize how powerful the emotions of love and jealousy really are. I bet many people have some degree of sympathy for Lisa in her desperation if they look back at how they felt jilted in some way by a guy who "chose" someone else over them. While I have not been involved in anything as sordid as what these astronaut people were involved in, I do know that jealousy is not a good emotion to get a hold of or try to deal with. Jealousy added to a one-sided love is not a good combination. In fact, I'm surprised we don't hear of more situations like this one (maybe played out a bit differently).

And how many of you (while reading some of the articles about this sad situation) had a moments curiosity as to what Bill Oefelein's actions or inactions had to do with what happened? Had he lied to Lisa about their future together? Had they really broken up? I read on one site that he told Shipman (new girlfriend) that Lisa was OK with the break-up and that she was "happy" for him. Obviously, neither statement was true. I also wonder if he was truthful to either of these women? Some men get their jollies out of having 2 women fight over them, and most are not worth anyone fighting over.

Do I believe Lisa Nowak deserves some kind of punishment? Sure I do, but I also know that there's a fine line between having the feelings about wanting to hurt someone who has betrayed you and actually going through with the process. Most of us know where that line is. Sadly, Lisa did not and she has lost a lot by her actions. What is also sad is that Bill Oefelein will probably never own up to his responsibility in all this. I'm sure there is a lot that has not come out about this, but I think this story is worth keeping up with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 5:41pm

"And how many of you (while reading some of the articles about this sad situation) had a moments curiosity as to what Bill Oefelein's actions or inactions had to do with what happened? Had he lied to Lisa about their future together? Had they really broken up? I read on one site that he told Shipman (new girlfriend) that Lisa was OK with the break-up and that she was "happy" for him."
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What's he going to say to his new gf? "Oh, yeah, my ex is pretty pissed off and swearing she's going to keep me and she's kind of crazy- in fact, she's crazy enough to pack a gun and mace and wear a diaper and drive hundreds of miles and try to kidnap you, so watch your step for a while!"

Of course not. He probably knew that Lisa was pretty upset, but since she's MARRIED he was probably hoping that she'd come to her senses and that he could move on with his life.

I have no doubt that Lisa was driven by very strong forces. I've been there, that all-consuming jealousy, to a point that I don't care to admit or even like to think about... but after some time, I got over it and moved on with my life. No doubt he was hoping that Lisa would be able to do the same.

I think Oefelein's responsibility was to be honest, and there's no sign that he wasn't- at least with Nowak. He was wrong, IMO, to date her in the first place (she's married, after all) but once he decided to break up with her and move on, he was doing the right thing.

Nowak is the one who went all Glenn Close psycho boiling bunnies in the pot nuts, not him, and he certainly didn't make her do the things she did.