2 Months What To Expect?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
2 Months What To Expect?
5
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 7:38pm
I'm not sure how relationships progress. Been seeing someone 1-2x's more closer to 1x per week lately for almost 2 months. But still contact is only to arrange a date, confirm a date, and then the date. Throughout the date there's always talk about things to do in the future, but he always ends with had a great time, MAYBE we can do this again. How often should you hear from someone you've been dating almost 2 months, but yet never a committment to have another date. I'm just very confused. I think I'm really going to start pursuing other relationships more seriously. I haven't heard from him this week...
Avatar for northwestwanderer
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 8:53pm

I don't believe there are "shoulds" per se in dating--there's what works for you and what doesn't work for you, KWIM ;-)?

It sounds like this doesn't work for you and I don't blame you! I wouldn't be happy with that lack of forward progress after 2 months either. I'd want to feel like there was momentum at least towards exclusive dating at that point.

Are you sure he even wants a relationship? Maybe this is all he's looking for.

Sheri

Avatar for dani20002000
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 10:01am

I agree with Sheri here. It's really about what works for you and it doesn't seem like this situation is fitting your needs. Don't close yourself off to other dating possibilities. You wouldn't want to pass up Mr. Right by spending too much time on Mr. Unsure.

~Dani~

 BabyName Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 10:41am

I think it varies depending on each "couple" and how much of a connection is there.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 5:02pm

Two questions.

Have you slept with him?

Have you asked him about this?

It sounds like he's at least a little into you, because he keeps going out with you. The caveat here is that if you guys are having sex, then for him it might just be a sex thing but he's not THAT into you, so he's not going to bother making it a formal, more serious deal.

But the big question is whether or not you've talked with him about it, or even casually about what you would prefer a good, solid relationship looks and feels like. You need to know what he thinks or wants, and you need to express what you think or want.

I'm not a big fan of endlessly talking about the relationship; in fact, I think that it's a pretty big danger sign if you DO wind up spending a lot of the time in the relationship just talking about... the relationship. That means you're spending less time HAVING it and more time TALKING about it.

But some amount of talking about it is absolutely required, IMO. It sounds like it's that time for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 8:19pm
Yes, we've been physical a couple times. So that's what I've been thinking it is. I did mention it once and he said no. Also, he says he doesn't want to put a lot of demands on me because I'm newly divorced and he knows I have a lot on my plate right now with kids and I have a stressful job that expects a lot from me. However, I think that's just more of an excuse for him to not have to be committed. I personally have no timelines or agendas. If I like someone, then I like them. I'm very balanced and not feeling emotional baggage, etc. from my divorce. It's just weird because the last time we went out I felt we bonded more than ever and now I haven't heard from him in over a week. I had mentioned I was invited to do something with friends the only night I had off from the kids last week so it could have been that. But why not at this point atleast a call to say hello? I will address this with him the next time if there is a next time...