How do you screen??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
How do you screen??
4
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 12:12am

Ok, I'm newly divorced, but separated for a year prior with minimal contact with ex, kid exchange mainly, was married for 18 years. Set up an acct on POF and think I have found someone worth a meet. Question is - how do you screen for players, weirdo's and ax-murderers? lol. This guy seems nice, but how do you know? Emails have been friendly, talk about jobs and kids, a little about ex's and expectatations - explained that I want to meet someone to do things with, that I am a Christian, not really looking for committment, just someone to see a movie with or have dinner. He says the same. Talked on the phone one time ( I blocked my # and called his cell). Talked about meeting for lunch one day next week. Told me to call him Monday so he can check work schedule to decide on a day. Am I doing this right? Have a friend who did OLD with mixed results and finally met current husband that way, but dated a few weirdos in the process. Suggestions anyone?

Thanks in advance,

Faith

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 2:20pm

I don't know any way other than the tried and true method of spending time with the person and getting to know them in person, in safe, public settings, before inviting them to your home (or going to theirs) or allowing yourself to get too involved. But some people are really good liars and good at hiding their true selves--so you are always taking a bit of a risk.

You could do a background check, I suppose--I never have but I have heard of people doing that.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Sun, 03-11-2007 - 7:22pm
Thanks - just wanted to know if I was doing things right, I'm trying to be safe, without being too paranoid. Do you have any special questions that tip you off?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 7:05pm

Hi Losingfaith, believe me I feel your pain. I was also recently divorced and I am anxious about getting back out there. One has to worry about weirdos with online dating, especially as we get older. But I do think that the chances of getting raped or murdered are pretty darn low. You seem to be doing everything right. If I were you, I would worry more about STDs at our age than anything else. Men have been around the block by now and who knows when e got his last test. There is a site called checktonight that allows your to share your test results. There are other sites like true for background checks, but i think health is probably your biggest worry. Anyway, hope that is helpful and good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 12:26am
Thanks! Not too worried about STD's at this point, no wedding-no sex for me.