Update and Thank You

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Update and Thank You
2
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 12:19am

I just thought I'd give a little update since my post on Sat. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and tried to cheer me up. I'm doing much better and have since realized I was freaking out over something I really don't need to. I'm pretty sure my major insecurity and worries Sat and last week were in part due to my hormones, yeah I know probably TMI but it sort of explains things. I also think it's becuase C. is now changing things up on me a bit and that made me feel insecure about his feelings about me.

I saw C. on Sunday afternoon and we had an awesome time together. We didn't really do anything except just hang around my house, made cookies and cuddled. He only spent a a few hours with me and though I wish that he would have wanted to stay longer I think that this is probably ok. I have a bad habit of getting serious or at least moving things too quickly when I'm really into someone so slowing down is really hard for me but I'm trying to see it as something good for me. Even though it's challenging, I will probably learn a lot from this. I honestly can only remember one bf I had that I moved slowly with and well, all of those realtionships ended so maybe doing this one differently will be a good thing.

When C. got ready to leave Sunday he told me that he had such a good time with me and he asked me out for Tuesday (today) and he also is going to out with me Friday. I told him to call me about Tuesday and he said "ya know, you are kinda old fashioned. You never just call me out of the blue." I couldn't believe it... here I've been trying so hard not to be clingy and call or email him too often and he's telling me I don't do it enough. LOL So crazy... so I guess me worrying I was being too clingy isn't true but I don't think I'm going to start calling too much even though he said that or I know I will develop into that clingy girl. He even emailed me the next day to tell me how much fun he had with me on Sunday and couldn't wait to see me again. :)

So, tonight I went over to his house and he cooked me dinner and we watched tv together. It was really nice. He hinted he wanted me to leave right around 10 because he was tired. Again this was hard for me because for the first 3 weeks we went out we hung out till about Midnight even during the week. But, I left with a really good feeling and he told me he was really excited for Friday.

I'm definitely keeping my options open of dating others, but I don't think I'm actively going to persue it just yet. My next two weeks are really busy with Friends and Family commitments so I'm pretty sure I will be occupied enough to not worry too much about what he is doing when we aren't together. We also have a couple dates planned together anyway... so things are looking up. I'm going to just try and take it a day at a time, try to stay busy and try to work on that attitude that if he doesn't choose me it's his loss. :) This will be a really good opertunity for me to really see if he is someone I want to be with also becuase sex isn't getting my head all confused...well excpet for all that sexual tension ;) Hopefully this will help us build a strong friendship and foundation and things will naturally progress.

Here's to feeling more secure!

Thanks again. :)
Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 8:12am

Aww Jen, that's awesome. It's so hard not to stress when you like someone, and he's giving you very good signs; wanting to see you a few times during the week, noticing you DON'T call him (good 4 u by the way), and telling you how much fun he is having.

If he's the one bringing things like this up, it's just a matter of time. Also, it takes the uncertainty away, which helps you relax and enjoy.

I am so happy for you. You deserve it. I think a lot of times when things don't (or may not) work out, we tend to think we don't deserve it (the guy, the relationship, the happiness), but we all do, all of us.

Have a great day...cutie pie, LOL!

Crystal

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 3:20pm

Jen,

I think C. sounds like a wonderful guy. He's being honest with you---yes it bites that he's still going out with others but he's not sneaking around behind your back. He doesn't sound like a player or someone who is messing with your heart.

I also think you're okay to not date others at this time---to keep your options open but not actively pursue anyone else---because that may just get confusing for you. I was never comfortable dating more than one man at a time and there are no "rules" that say you must be dating others if you're not yet exclusive. Good for you that you're keeping busy with family and friends. You aren't giving up your "life" to wait around for this guy, making you a more well-rounded and happier person (as well as potential partner for him or someone else!)

This sounds like a really healthy relationship---I hope things work out for the two of you but even if they don't, you're going to be just fine. You seem like a very happy, normal, healthy person and you will be a wonderful partner---if not for this guy, for another! Best wishes to you!

Francie