too much too soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
too much too soon?
2
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 12:24am

I've been emailing this guy on POF for a couple weeks, 2 phone calls and a meet for lunch earlier this week. He seems like a great guy. I am new to OLD and wonder if I am just putting too much into this too soon? Called him tonight to confirm lunch for tomorrow, he had emailed saying he would like to if I could get off work in time. Spent 20 min on phone deciding where to eat and chatting about our day. I am afraid that I am setting myself up for disappointment.

I have read lots of post here and seems like everyone dates lots, but I have not in 20 years and don't know how much I should open up to this guy. I was so nervous at first meet, now I'm feeling pretty comfortable, but is it ok to feel this way this soon? Am I just over thinking this? Is it ok to start giving out personal info - like kids names, specifics of where I work and such?

By the way, he has fantastatic blue eyes...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 4:02am
Just go, be yourself, have a nice time. Chit-chat. If it's really a good connection, then your conversation will likely range all over the place and you won't have to be "guarded"- but you won't have to give up a bunch of details, either, because you'll be talking about the weather and politics and the drive there and your vacation last summer and whatever else pops into either of your heads. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Fri, 03-16-2007 - 8:20am

Hi There,

I think it's great that you've met someone that you've connected with so soon. Don't think it's not possible to meet someone great right away. When I first started OLD, my first date was great, and we dated over a few months and realized we were not a match. My second OLD date turned into a 3+ year relationship (still think of him as the love of my life . . . ughh . . . but trying to move on). So anyway, my point is that you shouldn't let everyone's sum of experiences color your thinking too much. Go with the flow. Be you. And, you may be just delighted with who you've found!

As far as personal details, just follow what feels right to you. Follow your intuition. And, if you feel it's too soon, and he asks more details about where you work, just plan to deflect the questions with a brief answer, "yeah, I work in an office downtown" and then move the conversation in a different direction -- "but let's not talk about work now," and then introduce a different topic.

Oh, and as far as my OLD experience, I have a feeling it is going to be much harder for me this time around. I've been on one uneventful date so far and have found very few men that interest me . . . so my point is still the same - you never know how things are going to go until you try!!