great meeting, great date..help!
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| Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:10pm |
Hi everyone,
I am new here and i have a nice long story that i need some help with. I posted this up in the Dating Doyenne forum but i wanted your opinions as well.
First i am new to the dating game and i can be a bit akward when it comes to dating. As a kid and teenager i was always the girl who stayed in on friday and saturday nights and now that i am in my 20's i have found that guys are actually interested in me and i am not used to it yet. Usually when a guy shows interest i am oblivious to it or i second guess his actions (oh he was just being friendly)
Now i will get on with my story...
Earlier this year i went out of town for some training and i met a guy while i was on the plane. He sat next to me and initiated conversation right away (which took me by suprise). We spoke about business for a bit and he told me about his business involvements and i did the same. We then formally introduced ourselves and he said that he recognized my last name. He knows some people i am slightly acquainted with (he used to live in the city where i live but has moved away, although he still comes back fequently for business reasons). We got back to speaking about business and he asked me for my address and told me he would send me something from his company. I gave him my business address and we continued talking until the flight was over (about politics, family, economics, whatever). He was a great conversationalist and even made slight invites like "oh if your into such and such i should take here". I really thought nothing of it until...
a few days later i recieve a big FedEx box from him. He had sent me exactly what i had been telling him about! I was in shock! I asked some friends what i should do and they told me to send him a little something along with a nice thank you card and give him my number saying to give me a call when you are in town and we can get together, which i did. i hadn't heard from him for a while and i kind of felt dumb for sending him my number (maybe i interpreted his actions wrong?)
Two months later, out of the blue he calls me and said that he was in town and wanted to get together. I call him back and we agree to meet the next day at a restaraunt (i think he wanted to pick me up but i had prior engagements and it made much more sense for us to meet). We meet up, have a drink and a fun time (we spoke about a whole bunch of stuff and it almost seemed like he was making it clear to me that he wasn't tied up with anyone at the moment). Then we decided to go and have a cigar together so we go back to the place where he was staying. We sat around and talked for about 4 hours, and i think he was being flirty (he commented on my cute feet and even put his feet on top of mine, was throwing pillows at me). He made offers to me for the future (next time i am here i can teach you to drive standard transmission) It was getting very late (VERY late) and he had a meeting in the morning but he offered to let me stay there and he would take me to my car in the AM if i wanted (it was parked maybe 5 blocks away). I declined as i had to get home and on our way out i did something silly and he smacked by butt.
When he dropped me off at my car he went to kiss me but it took me by suprise (like i said...i am dating inept) and i kind of moved and he got the cheek and a hug kind of thing...(yeah i am dumb). I did tell him to call me next time he is in town though.
Now i feel like i totally messed up or something. It's been a month and still no call from him. I am not quite sure what his intentions were/are and i am very puzzled by all of this. In a way i am a bit hurt because i though we were both having a good time and he seemed quite interested. Is it possible that he thinks i am not interested in him?
I really do like this guy and i want a second chance but at the same time, i have no idea how to get it. Since he lives out of town i would feel kind of akward calling or e-mailing him just to "remind him to call me". I don't even know if this whole thing was even considered a "date"!
What are your thoughts/opinions?
Thanks in advance! :)

It doesn't sound like he's taking his meeting with you seriously at all. He didn't even call ahead of time to let you know he was planning to come to town, but only called after he was already in town. He seems like he's just interested in having a girl to have fun with when he's traveling in your area. It makes me wonder if he doesn't have other women he enjoys meeting with when he's traveling in other areas, or even a girlfriend back home.
If he was really interested in you as something more than that, I don't think he would have let the fact that you didn't kiss him stop him from contacting you. It's not like you didn't give him other signs that you weren't interested in. You stayed and spoke to him for four hours. You hugged him. You told him to contact you again when he was back in town. I don't get the impression that you reacted negatively to his previous flirtations. If he was hoping for something more from you, he would have at least contacted you to try to get a better feel of what you wanted. He doesn't sound like he's somebody who's shy or who's afraid of taking chances in pursuing a woman.
I think if not kissing him sent any message to him it's just that you're somebody who likes to take things slowly in the physical department. If he was mostly just interested in having a sexual relationship with you, then it will deter him from contacting you again. In that case, you're probably better off that way.
I don't think I could've said it any beter than rosewater did!
If he calls again, be sure to double (and triple) check your calendar--or be busy---for his first suggestion of an invite.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi all and thanks for your comments/advice.
i guess he just had to be too good to be true. Based on our conversation and his actions i actually did get the impression that he wasn't "that kind of guy". He was quite the gentleman actually which is something i am not used to (most guys i have known who just wanted some fun made their moves quite early on). A lot of my friends found it very funny when i brought up the thought of him just calling me for some physical satifaction because i definately do not come accross as a "sure thing" (they had a good laugh about it too).
It is kind of sad for me because i am very attracted to him but him and i also had some great conversations and it has been a while since i have had a good conversaion with a guy.
I guess you win some and loose some.