I Don't Know How to Date Anymore?
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| Sun, 08-20-2006 - 10:49pm |
i just got out of a very long term relationship (9 years), because he was being unfaithful. in the midst of me trying to get out (i was trying to leave him for the past 3 years now), i became friends with a guy thousands of miles away. met him in my old hometown while i was visiting and we kept in touch.
over the next few months i felt we really bonded... cuz we pretty much talked online everyday. in ways this was a blessing in disguise, because i think it just gave me that extra push to leave my unfaithful bf. but at the same time maybe its very bad because in a sense, im quickly filling that void of not being alone.
anyways... we finally saw each other again, and got intimate.
i really didn't want to.... but feel that i completely fell for him. i think i was looking for things my bf didnt have, and i found alot of that in him.
however, i feel like im letting my feelings go full speed and need to step back. cuz i find myself constantly thinking about him. and being that my ex cheated... i do have trust issues and very much so jaded.
and i dont even know what exactly dating is anymore? i know because we got "intimate" does not mean much anymore since it seems like friends with benefits and casual sex is so in nowadays. geez... where have i been all these years?
so because of that... im a lil afraid that my intimacy with him, has gotten me way too emotional and i do not know how to seperate.
did i just jump in too soon? i know people say give urself time. but how do u know when the time is right? i felt like i really liked this guy and we had a great connection. but yet was that a rebound? or am i really ready?
i do find myself still missing my ex tho, altho i am not sure why... for someone that treated me so bad.
but the loneliness... is hard.
Edited 8/20/2006 11:51 pm ET by rainingblue

Sometimes.... we do jump to fill a void :-)
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~