what did I do wrong?
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| Thu, 08-31-2006 - 8:08pm |
Hi all.
Ok, so I'm very new to this scene. Broke up with my bf this past summer.
I told myself that I would not be searching for anyone until after I completed the fall school semester.
Instead, I was on a web site that has a singles section and spontaneously answered to one of the ads.
We had been IM'ing each other for 2 days (spending like 2-3 hours online) and I thought we both were having a good time and keeping good company. But now, for the past 2 days, he's been offline.
Now, I'm not experienced with IM'ing. There's an option where you could make yourself offline by selecting the "ignore" option. Could it be that he really is online, but "ignoring" me? I'm trying my best in thinking maybe he really isn't online, but I really think he's ignoring me.
I'm thinking I may have said something to him that turned him off. For one thing, he asked me my height and weight. I gave him my height, but for the weight, I just told him teasingly that it's wrong for him to ask. So he asked instead whether I was slim, medium, large, etc. I dodged the question again by saying that a woman usually picks a size larger than what she really is. So I told him that I was big (jokingly - and by the way, I'm not trying to diss on big people, ok?). I think he knew I was being funny, but then again, maybe it hit him that I keep dodging the question so I must be a big woman. ????
He also asked me if I had a picture of myself. I told him "not on hand". I asked him for his. He replied, "not on this computer". I am reluctant to give out my picture for fear of rejection, but at least I did go on and told him I would email him one. He didn't let me know if he was going to send me one of him.
Maybe I'm falling for this guy too fast. I was reading the "men who love b*tches" book (I think that's the name of the book!) and it does say that a b*tch wouldn't sit and wait for a guy. It also says to let the guy do the chasing (be the hunter). And I'm trying to keep myself busy, but I'm thinking I blew him away somehow.
He did tell me his email address and told me he liked getting emails. ???? So should I start emailing him just because he's not online? It'd hurt me more if he ignores that also!
He really sounded like a great guy and I thought I found a possibility, but I guess not.
I am falling fast for this guy, huh?
Please, somebody wake me up!

You made the mistake of letting yourself fall for your fantasy of what this guy might be like, rather than staying grounded in reality.
I seem to recall that you were in a pretty LONG relationship, right? So dating right now is not a good idea--I think you probably know that. But if you're going to do it, don't let yourself get caught up in fantasies. Meet in person ASAP for coffee--don't spend hours IM'ing with someone you may never meet.
I would let this guy go--if he were truly interested in taking this to reality, he would suggest a meeting. My experience with guys who want to "chat" is that they are either interested in having cyber sex with you, or they are people who literarlly just want to chat most likely with dozens and dozens of women--they have no interest in actually MEETING anyone or forming a relationship.
SHeri
He did post his ad under the "strictly platonic" section. Plus, he's moving to Europe in a month and he did mention that his last relationship hurt him. So I guess that's what he really wanted our "chat" to be: strictly platonic.
It did feel nice to forget about the ex because I was feeling low a couple of weeks ago, but now, I have to handle the hurt on top of the breakup hurt. Not a great feeling, especially since the semester's begun.
Ok, I will try to control myself in not meeting anyone until I'm good and ready.
HOLY CRAP -- for lack of a better thing to say when i read your message. Have you met this in person (did i miss something??) BE CAREFUL -- how are you falling for someone you a. have not met b. don't really know if what is saying to you online is really the truth c. HOLY CRAP
Bon
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~