Good Bye
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| Mon, 09-04-2006 - 11:23am |
Hi, I haven't been around for a couple of weeks because I just got tired of dating. I was doing online dating and --I don't know, one day I was going through my Match.com "matches" and it hit me that none of the guys out there was right for me. I have had reasonable success for someone who is 50 and overweight, but ... dating any of those guys for more than a couple of dates would have been "settling" just to have someone to go out with on Saturday nights. I don't see why I should settle. I'd rather be alone.
They were all nice guys, but they didn't excite me. They were not sufficiently physically attractive or successful, or interesting to talk to. (Just one of these might have been enough.) I realize that I am just too picky. But that's me. I can't change it.
I agree with Pianoguy that the best way to really get to know someone is in real life. Unfortunately, I have a demanding job, no time for volunteer activities, no energy for church. Work-related social events don't usually bring me together with single guys in my age-group. There was _one_ guy, back in June, who seemed very excited to discover I was now single, then disappeared after two lunch meetings (not exactly dates). That is all.
I'm not really depressed about this, just a little sad. A friend who is forty-one and recently divorced was remarking on how many of us there are who are over forty, reasonably attractive, interesting, fun women and we can't get men who are equally attractive and interesting to look at us. Well, that's life.
Women after a certain age seem to have to be ready to date men who are not really all that interesting or attractive just to have a date. I don't want to. I had romance in my past and a good marriage for many years. I don't need to "settle." I can be alone.
So having rejoined the dating game very briefly this past summer, I think I am going to retire. ;) It's been interesting. I don't regret it. But barring a miracle, I think my dating days are done.
Good luck to all of you.
Elsa

Hi Elsa...
:-(
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi Elsa!
A personal thought from PG after reading your "goodbye":
Your life sounds very busy...particularly with the JOB? And having work that you enjoy (or can at least 'tolerate' in order to pay the bills) isn't a bad substitution for NOT DATING?
The only problem is....you'll eventually get stuck in the "Is MY WORK all I have in MY LIFE" question! .
match.com (or any other service) will place "people of similar interests and attitudes" together...but there's no guarantee of ANY chemistry! What you see in print doesn't always 'match' when it comes to a one-to-one conversation during dinner!
My only suggestion is not to assume that every man who asks you out HAS THE POTENTIAL OR DESIRE TO BECOME YOUR "PERMANENT LIFE PARTNER?"
There are plenty of us who HONESTLY enjoy close friendships and quality 'get together' time with women. We love to pamper and spoil the heck out of you, but aren't going to the extreme of buying you a diamond within 6 months and setting a wedding date after the first year of dating! .
The prospects for having TERRIFIC FRIENDSHIPS (and RELATIONSHIPS) over the age of 40 are definitely out there. But both sexes have to ask themselves: "Am I expecting too much too soon from a man (or a woman) I THINK I like A LOT?"
Pianoguy