I can't imagine ever dating again...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
I can't imagine ever dating again...
2
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 10:47pm

I've been with my STBX since I was 17 (I'm 23 now). Dating in high school (especially when you go straight from friend to boyfriend with no in-between dating time, as is the custom in my hometown) is much different than dating as an adult. My husband is the only man I've ever had sex with. I can't imagine sleeping with someone I don't love. How am I going to explain to someone that I want to wait, when most of the time people have sex after a few dates? I have the added difficulty of suffering from vestibulitis, which makes sex extremely painful. Even if I found someone I was comfortable having sex with, how am I going to explain that I will never enjoy vaginal penetration? Will he think I'm just frigid or think it's his fault or not have any fun because it bothers him that I'm uncomfortable?

~~Mandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 4:52pm

For a second there I though someone was writing about me!! LOL I was 17 when I first got together with my STBX and I am now 23 too!! What are the odds??!! He was my first real boyfriend and the only one I've ever had sex with too!! I know TMI. But the story sounded so similar. I have been seperated form my STBX for almost two years now and I still can't get over the way dating is now!! I haven't been able to be with someone yet because I felt the same way you did. I can't understand how people can just have sex with multiple partners!!??? Anyway, I think the best thing to do is to take time out for yourself first. The dating world has changed a lot, so just find yourself again. The worst thing you can do is jump into something you're not ready for. It's been a while for me but I've been having a blast going out with old friends, enjoying life, rediscovering what the single life is all about as well as myself. I feel like I am ready to date now. I'm not looking for it but when it comes I am ready. When you feel you are ready don't be afraid to express what you feel, like not having sex until you feel comfortable. With time, you will find someone who can respect that and don't feel as if you have to adapt to the way dating is today. I'm sure there are many women who feel the same. Everyone has different dating techniques if you will. So good luck and enjoy your new single life!! I hope this helped!

Angie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 8:21am

Hi Mandy... I know, it's a scary thought!.... BUT... don't for a second think that after a few dates that you have to have sex.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~