Too Old For Games
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Too Old For Games
| Mon, 11-06-2006 - 10:35pm |
I'll give you the facts...I am a 33 year old female. Newly divorced. Mother of 2. In a new city(been here 5 months). A new guy started about the same time as me. We became friends. About a month ago, we were at a party and had too much to drink, and we kissed. Since then, whenever there is alcohol involved, we end up flirting...everyone says that you can feel the electricity between us. A few nights ago, I had some co workers over...long story short...they all left...he didn't. We slept together. ()He is a great guy. But only 26. Never been married. No kids.)After sex, we sat and talked for about 2 hours. I told him that I would love for us to hang out...spend time together, but that I am in no position for a relationship. I said that I just want someone to spend time with..but would not be opposed to letting sex slip into the equation. He laughed and said that I am a mess...and that what I need right now is a friend. He admitted that he IS ready for a relationship and is actively looking. He said that he has been out with a few people (he's new in town too) but hasn't been attracted to anyone. And that I was the first person he's slept with since moving here. I'm confused...what was all that? Does he really want to be friends...was that night just about sex? Is he afraid of me? So...now, its weird at work. But the deal is this.... I like him. I said all of that about not wanting a relationship because I thought that's what I should say. I feel so out of the loop. I haven't dated in so long. I don't remember how to do this. And can I compete with girls his age? I still look good, don't get me wrong...but I have had 2 kids. I'm going crazy. This is so hard. He hasn't called. But I did ask him for lunch today...he accepted. I asked if we were ok...he said of course we are. Someone tell me what I need to do.

Lighten up!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
You need to read the book "Why Men Marry Bitches", I JUST read it, and it explained so much, and would have helped me in so many situations!!! You might not be able to apply it to this situation, but it very well could possibly still help, and if the harm has been done it will still be sooo useful for your next relationship. It's not only about how to make men more attracted to you, it's about gaining self-respect, and self-esteem back, and how to get yourself back really.
It is really hard/impossible to figure out what's going on in someone else's mind. There are a million different things this guy could be thinking. Maybe he's scared? Maybe he's confused? Maybe he's a player? Maybe he's waiting for you to feel back to normal....the possibilities are endless.
Just focus on yourself, and let him come to you. I'm 25 myself, and am attracted to guys who are in their 30s. It seems like age difference isn't as big of a deal as it used to be. There are a LOT of immature 20 something year olds, so for more mature 20 something year olds 30 year olds seem to just click better. He OBVIOUSLY finds you attractive, so that shouldn't be an issue.
cl-wildlucky4me is right...just relax, and enjoy the relationship for what it is, and where it stands right now!! :)
Are you talking about Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart by Sherry Argov?
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
oh my gosh...that is totally what is happening to me right now. i am 34 but i look like i am in my late 20s. i am currently dating a younger guy. he is only 26. he seemed really interested in the beginning and now he is just showing how flaky he can be. he said the same thing that we are OK...but his actions speak louder than words.
i have not been in the dating scene for 3 yrs and this is the first guy i have dated and slept w/. the sex is not really that good either. it seems like he cannot really deliver whatever he had said in the beginning of our friendship. im not gonna stop seeing him juz because of sex. we might hit it off later. maybe we need more practice. maybe he is not the right guy especially that he is not trying to keep in touch with me everyday.
guys can have all the excuses. even men and women do the same nowadays. be tough and be in control of your happiness. don't wait around for this guy and u should date other guys. i know it seemed kinda weird that we are on our 30s and we have to play this game. but i truly believe that if you are a decent, honest, woman soon enough you will meet Mr. Right.
keep your head up and your eyes open for new possibilities. don't let mr. 26 bring you down. and don't let past regrets haunt you down. discover new possibilities w/ your newfound life.
Hi. Its so good to know that I'm not the only one out there going through something like this. I hate playing games like this. And why is it that the guy I should really like, the one who is settled, mature, through with the games, I'M NOT EVEN REMOTELY ATTRACTED TO!!???? I hate that!
Are you dating other guys? If not, you should be. If he's not treating you right AND the sex isn't that great....keep your options open.
My guy...the sex was awesome! But...you know I wonder this: Do you know how if you skip breakfast and lunch, how in the middle of the afternoon you are freaking starving?? So you go through a drive through and get some fries. You eat one and think "Oh my God...these are so good! I've never had any fries this good! They must be making them different now." So a few days later you did have breakfast and you go to the same place for some fries..but this time you aren't starving and they are just plain old average fries. Know what I mean? Maybe the sex was so good because I hadn't had any in so long. ????
Ha, ha, ha, u are hilarious. I know exactly what you mean. In my last relationship we were together for 3 years, it was good in the beginning and in the end, and trust me it was so good, it was great. But he was bad news though. I had to let go even if I crave for that same euphoria I could not see myself miserable in the other aspects of my life.
We totally have to keep our options open. I don't really go out too much to haunt for Mr. Right. I have dated couple of guys from on line and I have joined the Christian dating site. I'm hoping that I can meet someone more decent and if the time is right that guy can deliver what I have been lacking all these years of drought.
Stay happy and positive.