the "big" question

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
the "big" question
3
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 8:16pm

Okay, this may be a dumb question to ask, as it is definitely one of those things that varies from person to person and has no simple answer. But since this board is about re-entering the dating scene, I'd like to know how other people haved coped and/or are coping with this...

Once you've been a serious relationship, how do you make the transition from starting from square one with a pefect stranger?

My ex and I were friends long before we ever hooked up, so I feel very in-the-dark about how to make that connection with someone I've just met. Plus because the relationship progressed to the point where I was positive we would be married within a year or two, I feel like a total juevenille casually dating various guys. Although I know better, it seems like a big waste of time. Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 6:56am

glacier-girl...

Pianoguy's only suggestion to your question is to enter any new relationship with nothing more than FRIENDSHIP in mind! If you spend your time comparing what you 'used to have' with a person who expresses an interest in you...you'll probably mess things up?

Remember...most men (who have been in previous relationships) are just as nervous about "getting to know you!" This doesn't mean you won't eventually capture our heart, but if you're expecting INSTANT RESULTS after a few dates....FORGET IT!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:57pm

Hi~


I think that transition just happens as you are together and you realize that you share common interests and desires.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 6:40am
How do we go from complete strangers to a relationship? It just happens. You meet someone and start talking. You enjoy the conversation and realize you have things in common and you like the way he looks. He asks you out, you say yes. It progresses from there and is a gradual getting to know you process. After a while you realize that you are spending quite a bit of time together and it feels right. You are now dating exclusively. Now, things will either go right or go wrong. If it goes right and it stays right for a year or so then there is a good chance you have found "one of the ones".
Casual dating is how you find the "one". If there is no connection after a date or two then politely decline another and move on. I will tell you this, for me if the "spark" was not there almost immediatly I knew he would only be a one dater. You will develop instincts over time, use them.