Do I Ask Him Out or Wait on Him????

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Do I Ask Him Out or Wait on Him????
7
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:13am

I met this awesome man at work. I never get involved in office romances but this guy is so my type.

He is so intelligent and earthy, which is such a turn on for me. We have had some great discussions at work and also flirt here and there. He often stares and holds my gaze for a long time until I finally look away. I think he is interested but not entirely sure. He often comes to my work area and pretends to do something just so we can chat. But we have kept it entirely on a friendly basis. This has gone on for a couple of months and I am really beginning to like this guy alot.

But I am so shy. I have never asked out a guy before and I have this huge fear of rejection. He has never mentioned a girlfriend and I know he is not married. I thought that maybe he was shy also and I am also his supervisor at work (to a certain degree) and that may cause some reticence on his part....Please help? What do I do? This guy is now invading my thoughts once I leave work.

Thanks....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 9:35am

anovelqueen73...

PG suggests you ask yourself one question:

"IS MY DESIRE TO ASK THIS MAN OUT STRONGER OR WEAKER THAN MY 'FEAR' OF BEING REJECTED?"

If your desire is STRONGER...ask him out! If your fear of the words: "NO THANK YOU" is GREATER...then you can wait around indefinitely and avoid the risk of rejection!

Hiding behind "shyness" is basically an excuse for doing NOTHING!

It's a new year...so why not make a few changes in your personality???

Pianoguy

Avatar for mom2maggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 2:45pm
I'd agree with pianoguy EXCEPT for the fact that you are sort of his supervisor. Have you looked into the HR policies where you work? Where I work, even a mutually consentual relationship with a supervisor is possible grounds for both parties to be fired.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 4:46pm

It is not against policy for relationships between employees besides I would be definitely discreet because I don't like for people to know what is going on in my personal life.

Thank you for the advice...I should make the first step. I guess men do it all the time and face fearing rejection....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 8:08pm

I will have to disagree and say, no do not ask him out. For one, it is a huge mistake to date someone you work with and if you are in a supervisory position over that person, it's an even bigger mistake. Also, if he is really interested in dating you, he will ask you out. No if ands or buts. To say that maybe he is shy, afraid or whatever is crap. Read Greg Behrendt's book "He's just not that into you". You are a superfox and do not need to pursue a man. The man for you will walk over broken glass to get to you and you'll know without a doubt that he's into you.

That's just my two cent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:22am

It used to be that of all the places people met, #1 was through church and #2 was at work. I don't know whether that has changed in the Internet age or not. I've also known many relationships that began at work, maybe 5, and amazingly, all ended in marriage. (One of those then ended in divorce).


That said, I am somewhat concerned about you being his supervisor, "sort of" ... but I've known that to work out too (eventually they moved one of them to a different department).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:52am

Thanks Jim..

Actually I thought about just asking him to go with me to Starbucks...He likes to go and hang out there and so do I so we could maybe go out for coffee and talk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 1:53am

anovelqueen73> Actually I thought about just asking him to go with me to Starbucks...He likes to go and hang out there and so do I so we could maybe go out for coffee and talk. <