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| Thu, 01-25-2007 - 5:17pm |
I want to ask you a question that I've been wanting to ask for a long time. Do you think it is MY FAULT that I don't have any friends? I have friends at work but what I really want is some to hang out with after work. Those I don't have. I have my crochet group but I'd like to do stuff with them afterwards. And half of them are older. I am going to lunch with some of the "older" ladies on Sunday for a get-together but I want to do stuff with the ones that are closer to my age (and younger). This one girl at work that is four years than me wants to get together with me on weekends but her boyfriend and her other friends all smoke so if I want to hang out with them I have to be around smoke and come home with smokey-smelling clothes and hair. I guess I am just not meant to have any friends. The only one that fits the description of doing things with me after work is this guy I've been seeing and he is starting to show a side of him that is not very nice. So I might not want to hang around with him anymore. When I tell him, in different ways, that I don't have the same feelings for him as he does for me he yells almost like a maniac!!! He really gets mad. When I told him I wanted to go home and be by myself after a recent incident he said, "Then go home by yourself" and started yelling like a maniac so bad that I had to hang up on him. He has yelled at me like this before for similar reasons. The only reason I put up with it is because I have no one else to hang out with. But I think I am going to stop hanging around with him. I'm not sure it's worth it. He's really nice in other ways though. I'm confused.

Wow!
I just responded to your other post, but from what you're saying here... no wonder you don't have the same feelings for him.
Are you sure that you want to continue to hang out with him?... and if he's saying those kinds of things, you probably feel guilty when you're out (away from him) and that's certainly no way to meet (and keep) new friends.
Even if you are "alone" for a while.... you need to ditch this guy.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks for your reply. I'm sure you are right about this guy I am seeing and how he is very controlling. I am thinking seriously about getting out of this relationship and have been for a while. If I knew I could have someone else to do things with it would be a lot easier for me to end it sooner. Or right now, for that matter.
But I am very concerned about my "no friends" situation. I really wish I could have friends outside of work and organized groups. I'm fifty lbs overweight. Could that be the reason? However, people always tell me I dress nice. My sister told me that she wouldn't want to be seen with me if I got really "fat". Maybe I'm already too fat for people to want to be seen with me?
What could I possibly be doing wrong? All I want is for someone to go to the coffee shop with me once in a while. Am I asking too much?
Sorry if I sound frustrated. But I am frustrated.
Thanks for your interest.
I can't believe that your sister said that to you!
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I strongly agree with Karen -- dump him.
Thanks, Jim...
and I agree with you about the profile thing... I really use them a lot to just click to see if I can read a little more info.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~