New Here & have a Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
New Here & have a Question
4
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 11:58pm

Hi. I followed the link in Karen's siggy and ended up here :)

I've been thinking about dating, about what I would look for in a man etc. Some say you should write out a list of likes and dislikes in order to determine what would make a suitable date. The theory is that if you find yourself dating someone who doesn't have the traits on the list, it should be a red flag. Has anyone done this? Does it even sound feasible? LOL

I guess the idea appeals to me because I do have a history of getting involved with unhealthy people and being so enamored with them that I ignore the shortcomings. (codependent, as they say) Now, being in the process of divorce, I am much more jaded and wonder if taking a more hard-core approach to the terms of acceptable dates is realistic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 8:20am

Hi!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 6:05pm
I say go for it for I have been happily divorced for the past yr and I started that list and now I am dating a better man someone totally opposite of my ex hubby ! :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2007
Sat, 02-03-2007 - 3:02am

Okay, here are my red flags, which I ignore time and time again! Mind you, I'm a successful woman making 6 figures with my own home and a bimmer and a winter car. However I always end up breaking a few of my own rules.
1) Job
2) Driver's License
3) Vehicle
4) No prison record
5) Not living with parents

Sounds reasonable enough, right? Are these rediculously high standards? I think not!!! Be stronger than me and don't settle for less than 4 out of the 5! :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 1:36pm
I did that. Met a man, who fit my list and my heart to a tee, I was so happy , in love etc. Then while he was going through his divorce, his wife decided to come back to the marriage. Out of a sense of duty, he went back. It broke my heart . then for the next 5 years he kept telling me he was not sure what he wanted, and that he loved me, and missed me,Of course being the fool I was, I believed him, now he has left the country went back to NI and now I don't trust anyone or list,
I hope you have better luck with your list